Right after that, she dropped to her knees with a thud. A brilliant light flared in her eyes. I reached out to pull her up, but she dodged me.
“Thank you, Elder Sister!”
That one sentence told me it had worked, and I couldn’t help letting out a relieved sigh.
It was true that she was the heroine of a tragic romance. I didn’t know whether I could change her fate, but if she worked hard herself, that would make things much easier for me and give her a much better chance of changing her tragic life.
4.
As I’d hoped, Trường Lạc worked even harder than I’d imagined.
She was eager to learn. At first, she couldn’t keep up with the tutor’s lessons at all, so I told her to come to my courtyard whenever she didn’t understand something.
Within half a month, she was able to keep up with the tutor completely.
That was already an excellent result, but it still wasn’t enough to free her from the fate she’d had before.
I gave her the key to my library. When she saw the walls lined with books, their pages yellowed with age, Tống Trường Lạc was astonished.
But as soon as she opened one and realized it was about commerce, she flung it to the floor with a thump, still too shocked to recover.
“Elder Sister, these are books men study.”
I was lying in bed at the time. Hearing that, I let out a soft sigh.
I didn’t know when I’d started thinking the same way.
I sat up in bed and bent down to pick up the book from the floor.
“Starting now, I’m going to teach you your first lesson. Are you willing to learn?”
Unlike the serious atmosphere of the tutor’s lessons, I simply had the maid prepare some fruit and pastries, then took Tống Trường Lạc by her soft hand and led her out of the courtyard.
When she saw me find a bow and arrows by the fence, Trường Lạc’s mouth fell open wide enough to fit an apple.
Then, when she saw me hit a little bird flying a hundred meters away, her eyes went so wide they looked ready to pop out.
I knew perfectly well that seeing something once was worth hearing about it a thousand times.
Feeling her fervent gaze fixed on me, I couldn’t help smiling. I handed her the snow-white bird. “It’s yours.”
5.
Trường Lạc opened her mouth, but didn’t know what to say.
She simply accepted the bird in a daze.
When she didn’t say anything, I had to take the initiative and speak:
“Birds usually sell for four coins each in town. If the household buys nine birds but loses two, do you know how many coins it spent—and how many it lost?”
All women had to learn arithmetic. Whether legitimate or secondary, they were expected to manage the household finances. Before a woman married, her family would arrange for someone to teach her, so she wouldn’t embarrass herself after she wed.
Trường Lạc answered faster than I expected.
“Thirty-six coins spent, and eight coins lost.”
“Very good. You calculated that quickly.”
I couldn’t help patting her head and praising her generously.
“Then suppose the servant you sent to buy the birds pockets the money and tells you each bird actually cost ten coins. How much would he have made?”
This question was a little harder than the last, but Tống Trường Lạc still answered quickly.
“Even though two birds were lost, he did bring the birds back, so the household still counts nine birds. That means he secretly made nine coins.”
At that point, Trường Lạc seemed to think the servant was despicable, and frowned in anger.
I smiled, took nine coins from the purse at my waist, and handed them to Tống Trường Lạc. Then, as she watched me in confusion, I said:
“If you were the one doing this, then right now you’d have earned nine coins just by running an errand, without spending a single one of your own.”
I looked straight into her eyes, making her meet my gaze.
“What if you were buying not nine birds, but nine hundred—or even ninety thousand? And not just birds, but pigs, ducks, and geese, too?”
A flicker of surprise passed through Trường Lạc’s eyes. She even swallowed.
I smiled and coaxed her gently. “Is doing business so difficult? How is it any different from us women keeping account books in the inner quarters? Is archery so difficult? It only took me a month to learn.”
I leaned back in my chair and looked at her playfully with one eye open.
“If only men can do these things, then what am I? A man, too?”
“My health is poor, and I was still able to do it. Do you still think you can’t—that you’re incapable?”
6.
In the end, Trường Lạc was persuaded.
She carefully put away the key to the library, and bandaged the little bird’s injury before keeping it.
Before, she’d shown me mostly the respect due an elder sister. But after that day, I could clearly see a different light in her eyes.
Even though I’d told her before to come to me if she didn’t understand something, she rarely took the initiative.
But after that, she came to my courtyard almost every day. Even my usually quiet courtyard grew livelier.
She worked even harder than before, and I also began to see just how talented she was.
At first, Trường Lạc still hesitated. She asked me:
“Elder Sister, why are you so good to me?”
I remembered that day. I was eating a piece of peach cake, swallowing down the sourness rising in my stomach.
With my other finger, I pointed at the bird in its cage. Its wound was almost healed.
My voice was very soft. I was speaking both to Tống Trường Lạc and to myself.
“I’ve read the sages’ books no less than any man, but how am I any different from that caged bird? I may never leave the house, but I keep tabs on everything and know all that goes on outside. I’m full of knowledge, but have nowhere to put it to use. I can’t even set foot in a shop ten miles away.”
Ever since I woke up, I’d always thought I’d accepted my fate calmly.
But only now did I realize how much resentment I’d been holding inside.
I’d been sick since childhood, but everyone around me told me I would surely recover. Even I believed it.
For fifteen years, there hadn’t been a single day when I wasn’t preparing to leave this courtyard.
I used to think that if I read a book a thousand times and could recite poetry on command, I would surely amaze those young masters and ladies.
I used to think that if I learned the ways of business and became wealthy, I could ensure my parents wanted for nothing in their later years.
I used to think that if I strengthened my body and learned to shoot a bow, then once I was healthy, I could become a woman general and serve the court.
…
But I was going to die.
I really was going to die.
All those talents and ambitions were like a dream. I could only lament how fate had toyed with me.
I had one year left before I died of illness. If I did nothing, the final outcome would be Trường Lạc taking her own life in despair, my parents being impeached for abusing their child and thrown into prison, and my childhood sweetheart losing his soul and falling on the battlefield.
I had no time to grieve over how unfulfilled my life had been. I could only think of a way to change their tragic fates—but what had I done wrong?
I raised my head and looked at the vast, clear blue sky. A travel book I’d read described it as being like an immeasurable sea.
It was a shame I’d never get to see it for myself.
“I hope that someday you’ll have another path to take—not one that ends with no way out.”
A small, warm hand covered my eyes.
I knew she must have felt the dampness on my palm, but I didn’t have time to pull away. Tống Trường Lạc’s words had left me rooted to the spot.
“Elder Sister, from now on, I’ll be your eyes. I’ll go see the world outside for you, then come back and tell you all about it.”
Her voice was soft, but it made my usually feeble heartbeat suddenly pound.
7
I hadn’t been close to Trường Lạc before, but now we truly felt like sisters.
Trường Lạc always seemed to have an endless well of enthusiasm, and it lifted my spirits considerably.
She’d bring me candied hawthorn from outside, tell me amusing stories about the street, and even use her first earnings to buy me a hairpin.
Seeing me smile more often, and seeing that Tống Trường Lạc now always ate with me, my parents began treating her better, too.
They still didn’t treat her as well as they treated me, but at least they were more like ordinary parents and showed her a little more care.
After that, whenever I drank medicine that smelled of blood, I’d pretend to feel nauseated and like I was going to throw up. After I did that several times, my parents didn’t dare take Trường Lạc’s blood anymore.
Trường Lạc’s pale face began to regain its color, too.
She took on a few more business ventures, some profitable and some not. She matured quickly, astonishing everyone.
At first, she lacked confidence. Even though I tried to guide her, the ideas she’d long held—that women shouldn’t be seen outside or engage in business—were deeply ingrained.
Now the first pharmacy she’d opened was taking shape, and she’d made connections with quite a few medicinal-herb merchants.
I, too, had gone from offering a little guidance at first to stepping behind the scenes.
No matter how busy she was, she still made time to cook for me.
I also tried to eat more nourishing foods. The book said I was destined to die, but I still couldn’t accept it.
The book Trường Lạc read most often was about proper ways to nourish the body. She often cooked special dishes for me to help build up my strength.
Lately, I’d been sleeping more and more. Whenever I woke, I could see Tống Trường Lạc sitting by my bed, with a cloak draped over me.
That night, my bones ached worse than ever. I could barely eat a few bites. I thought I’d feel better after falling asleep, but the pain in my limbs kept me awake.
I couldn’t move my limbs, but my mind was perfectly clear, and I felt every wave of pain.
Cold sweat poured off me from the pain, but I couldn’t help giving a bitter laugh. If only I hadn’t sent the maids away. They must all think I’m resting.
In my daze, I saw a slender figure enter. She rushed over and knelt beside me. The next moment, without hesitation, she pulled a dagger from her waist and slit her wrist.
Warm blood ran down my throat, and amid its metallic smell, I heard something crack.
“Elder Sister, don’t scare me. Hurry and drink!”