12.
The long streets and bustling markets gathered together like fireworks, and spread out like the whole human world.
The noisy streets, the crowds coming and going, and the roadside hawkers all filled me with wonder.
Quân Dương and Tống Trường Lạc had really snuck me out.
They flanked me, one on either side, afraid something might happen to me.
Though I felt a little helpless, I was even more captivated by the beauty of the long streets and narrow lanes.
Because my stomach was weak, I could only look at things like sugar figurines and candied hawthorns, not eat them.
For the first time, I squeezed into a crowd to watch a performance. The storyteller had said some people could breathe fire, and it turned out to be true. I couldn't help clapping enthusiastically.
When we passed a clay-figurine stall, I tugged hard at the two of them and watched intently as the old craftsman shaped a clay doll.
“Other people have always made them for us. I want to try, too.”
Quân Dương rarely refused me, especially over something like this.
By the light of the moon, the three of us sat earnestly in front of the stall as the old craftsman patiently guided us.
Though our handiwork wasn't as refined as the old craftsman's, you could still tell the three clay figures were meant to be us.
As we walked beneath the evening glow, I deliberately bumped into Quân Dương and lightly hooked my finger around his.
As if sensing something, Quân Dương looked at me.
I looked back at him and smiled faintly.
When Mother took me to the temple to pray for blessings, a monk once said that if two people in love lightly touched their pinkies together, they could pass their good fortune and feelings to each other.
I'd already decided how things would end, so there was no need to convey my feelings.
I only hoped the young man I loved would be fortunate and enjoy a peaceful life... May he meet a kindred spirit and live in perfect harmony.
Goodbye, Quân Dương.
13.
I put the two exquisite clay dolls that had been by the window away in a box in my room, replacing them with three ugly ones.
The maids wondered when my taste had changed, but after seeing them, Tống Trường Lạc immediately went and placed the three ugly dolls on her own windowsill.
Today, Trường Lạc didn't come in from outside, travel-worn as usual, clutching a thick ledger and chattering away to me.
Even lying on the beauty couch, I couldn't sleep. I just felt uneasy.
“Go find out where Second Miss is.”
My stomach churned, and I vomited again, coughing nonstop.
When I saw blood on my handkerchief, I hurriedly hid it.
Just a moment later, a servant rushed in with a report.
Trường Lạc's business had been growing steadily, but the forces behind the capital's walls were complicated. Her newly opened dress shop had attracted envy with its novel designs, and now some people had cornered her in an alley, intent on teaching her a lesson.
I couldn't leave the residence, so all I could do was fret inside like an ant on a hot pan.
When my parents heard the news, they rushed out at once, and the servants in the residence took their clubs and went out as well.
After a full hour, Trường Lạc finally returned.
She seemed more or less all right, but her eyes showed she'd clearly been frightened. The corner of her robe was torn, and her forehead was injured.
I hurried over and spoke gently. “Don't be afraid. I'm here.”
Trường Lạc still hadn't recovered from the shock. When she saw me, she lowered her head guiltily. “It's all my fault for causing such trouble and making everyone worry.”
I gently patted her back, my voice soothing but firm. “It's not your fault. You've done nothing wrong by simply taking care of your own affairs. The ones in the wrong are those who harbor wicked intentions.”
I looked toward my parents standing nearby. Along with their anger, their eyes held pain for their daughter.
It seemed that my efforts these past few days to get Trường Lạc to eat with them every day had paid off.
My father sneered. “In broad daylight, and they really think the Li family can get away with anything? I'll take this to the authorities.”
The only family referred to simply as the Li family was the Minister of Revenue's.
A minister held a high office, but even he shouldn't dare act so recklessly. Yet Minister Li was a consummate schemer, outwardly upright and favored by the emperor.
Though life in the capital wasn't exactly smooth sailing, everyone we encountered showed us some respect.
Trường Lạc had recovered her composure. Hearing that, she smiled brightly, a glint flashing in her eyes.
“No need. In three days at most, they'll have their tails between their legs.”
14.
Trường Lạc's growth had surprised me more than I expected.
This ambush hadn't been an accident. Not only had Trường Lạc discovered it beforehand, she'd even taken advantage of the situation.
I'd truly underestimated her. How could someone who'd opened four or five shops in the capital not understand the undercurrents beneath the surface?
Trường Lạc had obtained word that the Second Prince was hosting guests at a tavern, and deliberately chose a spot nearby for the ambush.
The Second Prince's faction had already been looking to promote one of their own to replace the Minister of Revenue. Now that they'd caught him bullying a woman and acting lawlessly, how could they let such a good opportunity slip by?
At court the next day, the emperor indeed called out the Minister of Revenue by name. Though he only docked his pay, at least the minister wouldn't dare throw his weight around for the next six months.
And six months would be enough time for Trường Lạc to grow her business.
Not only I, but Father and Quân Dương as well, hadn't expected a young woman like Trường Lạc to accomplish so much.
When Father came home from court, he couldn't help remarking, “If she were a man, she could surely carve out an even greater place for herself.”
I thought that this time, Trường Lạc's fate would no longer be the same as it had been in my dream.
15.
Quân Dương knew what I was capable of. Though I hadn't displayed my talents as openly as Trường Lạc, Quân Dương was like a kindred spirit to me, always able to catch glimpses of who I was.
The night before he was to leave, he came to me, his tone certain. “There's a trace of you in your younger sister. Did you teach her all this?”
I didn't deny it. Though I didn't know exactly what Trường Lạc was thinking, I had indeed played a part.
I thought again of the dream, where Quân Dương had taken Trường Lạc as my substitute and married her.
I couldn't tell whether they'd developed feelings for each other as they lived together. Just thinking about it left me unable to hide the bitterness in my heart.
“Do you think my sister and I look alike?”
In the past, Trường Lạc and I had only looked about half alike.
But after she and I became close, it was bound to have some effect on her.
Now, people even say we look eight-tenths alike.
Quân Dương smiled freely, his eyes shining.
“We do.” The corners of his mouth curved up. “But my dear Khanh Khanh, she’s herself, and you’re yourself. How could I ever mistake the two of you for each other?”
He said with certainty, “Other people might get you mixed up, but I never will.”
After saying that, he seemed embarrassed. His ears turned red, and he looked away.
I looked at Quân Dương. “My name is Tống Khanh Khanh, and hers is Tống Trường Lạc. We’re both one of a kind. She’s herself, unlike anyone else. She is my younger sister, Tống Trường Lạc, sister to me, Tống Khanh Khanh.”
Quân Dương saw how serious I was and nodded. Then he said, “I have to go. Wait for me to come back.”
The corners of my eyes reddened slightly. I knew where he had to go, and answered softly.
“All right.”
16.
I was coughing up blood more and more often, my face as pale as paper.
My father and Quân Dương’s father went together to the Imperial Medical Bureau to summon physicians to the residence to examine me day and night, but they all reached the same conclusion.
“Make the preparations for her final days. There’s nothing more to be done.”
Gradually, I could no longer get out of bed or control my own body.
I was all right during the day, but at night my eyes would ache, and I would vomit without stopping, unable to sleep.
I had thought I’d accepted my fate long ago, but when death truly came for me, I couldn’t hide my fear. Night after night, I was too afraid to sleep, keeping my eyes open until morning.
Trường Lạc came to my room tonight.
These past few days, she had been poring over medical books, hoping to find a way to save me.
But I knew it was useless. I’d read those books long ago. Cancer was incurable.
In the darkness, I suddenly spoke. “Trường Lạc, is there a name you like?”
Tống Trường Lạc was taken aback and shook her head. “No.”
I stifled a cough so I wouldn’t frighten her. “Then what do you think of the name Tống Triều Triều?”
Tống Trường Lạc was very clever and quickly understood. “If that’s what you want, I’ll go by Tống Triều Triều from now on.”
The corner of my mouth twitched. Tống Trường Lạc already knew that the heart’s blood had been for me, so naturally she understood the meaning behind that name.
Tống Trường Lạc, Tống Trường Lạc. The name Trường Lạc carried the hope that I, the eldest daughter, would always be happy.
Tống Trường Lạc had been born so the physician could take her heart’s blood to save me.
My eyes stung, and I simply closed them.
“Elder Sister, I like the name Trường Lạc. I also hope you’ll be happy. This name is my very best wish for you. Can I keep it?”
Her voice grew softer and softer, until at last there was a hint of worry in it.
A warm feeling welled up in my heart, but I was too weak to answer her. I slowly closed my eyes.
I heard her helpless voice again beside me.
“Elder Sister, don’t go to sleep. Young Master Quân will bring a physician back. He’ll surely be able to cure you. Please, don’t sleep…”
17.
I was born in the bitter cold of winter, but I died in the warmth of blossom season.
The funeral at the residence was held with great ceremony. First, Trường Lạc had made a great deal of money. She had succeeded.
Second, my parents had taken my funeral very seriously.
Third, though Quân Dương wasn’t there, his parents had helped give me a grand burial.
Everyone was sobbing, but I was very happy.
Come to think of it, this was the first time I’d walked through the streets on my own. The last time, the two of them had been supporting me, so that didn’t count.
I made a circuit of the capital alongside my redwood coffin.
At last, after I died, I got to see the whole of this bustling capital.
A maid laid out all sorts of delicious food before my grave. Trường Lạc’s eyes were red from crying as she said softly, “Take it all away. She doesn’t like these things.”
Trường Lạc stood there, her expression blank.
“Elder Sister doesn’t like those things. She only wanted me to eat a little more. That night, she was clearly up vomiting all night…”
“I don’t have a big sister anymore.”
18.
That little punk Quân Dương dug up my grave as soon as he got back.
General Quân was so furious he broke one of his legs. Quân Dương had to stay in bed for three days to recover.
Quân Dương’s eyes were red, and he staggered as he walked.
“Khanh Khanh always used to murmur that she wanted to see whether the sea looked like the sky in the courtyard. I promised to take her there. Father, I can’t break my promise.”
General Quân’s eyes immediately reddened. “You rotten brat.”
When my parents learned that Quân Dương had dug up my grave to take me away, they were so angry they wanted to sue him.
Tống Triều Triều tried to talk them down. She watched quietly, then after a long while said, “Let him go.”
What lay beyond the mountains? What lay beyond the sea?
I hadn’t even known about the courtyard next door until the month before I died.
But now, I know what lies beyond the sea.
My gravestone and my young man.
—THE END—