5
After Feng Mo rescued me from prison, he thought I would mend my ways.
But he was wrong.
If respectable young men were off-limits, then I’d go after government officials.
I hid in the wealthy quarter of the capital and kidnapped five masked men who were getting ready to attend court.
Just as I rubbed my hands together, ready to pull off their masks, I was caught again.
This time, my crimes were insulting the kingdom’s talents and obstructing the country’s development.
The guard beamed and bowed. “Your Highness, the Crown Prince. Back again?”
Feng Mo’s face was as dark as Bao Gong’s. Without a word, he grabbed me by the collar and hauled me back to the Crown Prince’s residence.
“Are you going to do it again?” Feng Mo grabbed me by the neck.
“N-no, I won’t…”
I’d never known shame in my life, but now my face was burning all the way to my ears.
Feng Mo’s forehead brushed my ear, and his warm breath washed over the back of my neck.
His voice suddenly turned husky. “Now that you’ve had your fun, settle down and behave. Be my Crown Princess.”
I nervously tugged at his sleeve and stammered, “Could you let me try one more time? Just once.”
Feng Mo’s hazy eyes suddenly cleared. He nipped my ear and chuckled. “All right. One last time. Three strikes and you’re out.”
I fled the Crown Prince’s residence, my heart pounding nonstop.
I realized I didn’t seem to mind his advances. In fact, I felt a strange flutter in my heart.
But maybe I was just too rebellious by nature. I kept wanting to go to the Yellow River once, bang my head against a wall once, and only then be satisfied.
This time, I was very careful. I didn’t want to end up in jail a third time.
After searching all over the capital, I found that the only people who went around without masks were the imperial guards patrolling and guarding the city.
Fate said, “Fortunately, His Highness the Crown Prince still has a little sense left.
I followed the imperial guards around for ages before I finally picked my target.
Cavalry Lieutenant Kỷ Nam Châu.
He was the only person I’d ever met whose looks rivaled Feng Mo’s.
Kỷ Nam Châu looked at me. His icy face managed a hint of tenderness. “I held you when you were just a month old.”
“You held me too?!”
Me: “Did my father treat me like a flower when I was little, carrying me around and playing pass the flower?”
Dạ Hành watched me crouch beside Kỷ Nam Châu as he guarded the city, smiling like a sunflower. He reassured Feng Mo, “Your Highness, don’t worry. Lieutenant Kỷ is handsome, but he isn’t crazy like you…”
Feng Mo shot him a sharp look. Realizing he’d misspoken, Dạ Hành hurriedly corrected himself. “He isn’t as lovesick as you.”
But Feng Mo was no longer as worried as before. Instead, he was perfectly calm.
“If she chose Kỷ Nam Châu, I can rest easy.”
“Dạ Hành, notify the Ministry of Rites to prepare the grand investiture ceremony.”
6
Oh no. I think I’ve fallen for Kỷ Nam Châu.
He wasn’t nearly as cold as he looked.
In fact, he indulged and spoiled me even more than Feng Mo did.
When I said I wanted wine, he rode day and night to Rong’an County and brought back the most famous wine in the world, Nine Heavens’ Falling Stars.
When I said I missed my father, he rode day and night to Liuyun Stronghold and brought back a cloak that reeked of my father’s sweat.
When I said the top courtesan at Bai Xiang House was beautiful, he had her brought over to play music for me all night.
Most importantly, I felt so at ease with him that I could drop my guard and let go of every pretense whenever I wanted.
One day, I wanted to see the lantern festival. He waved his hand, and an entire street full of lanterns appeared before me.
It was just like the Lantern Festival.
We walked side by side, chatting happily.
But for some reason, the street vendors seemed strangely familiar.
Up ahead, a street vendor was hawking tofu pudding.
“Nam Châu gege, I want candied hawthorn.”
Kỷ Nam Châu gazed at me tenderly. “If Đường’er wants some, then we’ll buy it.”
The vendor handed me a skewer of candied hawthorn, and Kỷ Nam Châu reached for his money.
The vendor said, “Candied hawthorn is sweet. The young master and young lady should share some to stay together forever.”
“All right, one more skewer.”
The vendor said, “After you two get tired of strolling, sit by the shore of Lake Baiyue, enjoy the breeze, and have a couple more skewers. Nothing could be better.”
Kỷ Nam Châu said, “Two more skewers.”
The vendor said, “When you wake up tomorrow morning, have a bowl of thin porridge with a couple of skewers of candied hawthorn. That’s one of life’s great pleasures.”
Kỷ Nam Châu said, “More!”
I tilted my head and asked the vendor, “Are you in a hurry to close up and go home?”
The vendor smiled awkwardly. “My lady, you’re quite the wit.”
Kỷ Nam Châu took out a silver ingot and handed it to the vendor. “Take it all back to the Crown Prince’s residence.”
“Certainly!”
The vendor started singing as he got ready to go home.
I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him close for a good look.
“Thì Tiểu Ngũ?!”
Thì Tiểu Ngũ hurriedly covered his face and shook his head. “No, no, that’s not me.”
I shoved Thì Tiểu Ngũ aside and went back to each little stall we’d passed.
“Tôn Lão Tam?!”
“Trần A Đích?!”
“Trương Ma Tử?!”
…
No wonder these people all looked familiar.
They were all servants from the Crown Prince’s residence.
“Where’s Feng Mo?!”
Everyone shook their heads.
But I still noticed Thì Tiểu Ngũ glance toward two unusually tall lanterns in the distance.
“He’s not here, right?” I linked arms with Kỷ Nam Châu, covered my mouth, and giggled. “Good. Then I’m not going home tonight.”
There was no reaction. The two lanterns remained still and silent.
“Nam Châu gege, let’s go to the Star-Picking Tower to watch the stars. Can we stay all night?”
At last, the lanterns couldn’t hold back any longer and hurried toward us.
“Dạ Hành, go demolish the Star-Picking Tower for me at once!”
Dạ Hành’s face was as bitter as a gourd. He asked through his tears, “Your Highness, could I tear down the trees on my own body first?”
…
I was herded back to the Crown Prince’s residence by a crowd, carrying a heap of grass studded with candied hawthorn.
7
Thì Tiểu Ngũ apologized to me. “Miss, you’ve had a rough time. I really wanted to help, but His Highness said if you bought it yourself, you had to carry it yourself…”
I pouted, feeling wronged. “If you hadn’t forced me to buy things, I wouldn’t have recognized you. And if I hadn’t recognized you, I wouldn’t have had to go home so early.”
Thì Tiểu Ngũ awkwardly scratched his head. “But His Highness said we could keep whatever we made tonight. I’ve been running around nonstop for three shichen…”
Me: “...You’ve worked hard.”
Feng Mo and Kỷ Nam Châu walked behind us.
Kỷ Nam Châu: “Tang’er is so happy. Thank you…”
Feng Mo: “If you really want to thank me, you should take over the chancellor’s mantle soon, instead of standing guard at the city gates every day.”
Kỷ Nam Châu: “There’s no rush. I’ll consider it when Tang’er herself agrees to marry you.”
To escape Feng Mo, who stuck to me like a shadow, I secretly arranged to go hunting outside the city with Kỷ Nam Châu.
It wasn’t until the day we left the city that I learned Kỷ Nam Châu not only couldn’t fight, but couldn’t ride a horse either.
I rode in the carriage with him, and my dream of galloping alongside him vanished in an instant.
Our hunting trip turned into a leisurely stroll, and the bow in my hands silently protested.
“How can you be an imperial guard when you don’t know how to do anything?”
“That’s why I’m only responsible for guarding the city gates.”
“Then what would you do if enemy troops showed up?”
Kỷ Nam Châu thought seriously for a moment, then told me solemnly, “I have a loud voice. I can call for help.”
I looked at Kỷ Nam Châu with sympathy and clasped his hand, promising, “Don’t worry. I’ll protect you from now on.”
The carriage suddenly lurched violently, hurling me out the door.
His hands—his hands! I hadn’t touched them enough yet…
The carriage stopped. The two drivers clutched their throats and kept apologizing, their straw hats pulled so low they nearly covered their eyes.
Wait, why did we need two people to drive the carriage?
“Feng Mo! Dạ Hành!”
“Get out. I’ll drive!”
After I chased them out of the carriage, Feng Mo and Dạ Hành stood by the roadside, looking utterly forlorn.
We were already some distance from the capital, and since it wasn’t market day, few people were passing by.
Dạ Hành: “Your Highness, let’s go back. Captain Kỷ is a good man. He won’t do anything to Miss.”
“What do you know!” Feng Mo scolded him. “Kỷ Nam Châu is a good man. Tô Bắc Đường isn’t!”
In the end, the two of them had no choice but to force a villager to sell them a donkey.
Many years later, the Crown Prince’s feat of “Riding a Donkey to Quell the Rebellion” was even recorded in the history books.
Don’t ask me what “Riding a Donkey to Quell the Rebellion” means. I have no idea either.
All I know is that I apparently accomplished something great that day.
That day, I drove the carriage at full speed along the mountain road, and it was exhilarating.
The only downside was that I’d underestimated Kỷ Nam Châu.
A perfectly respectable captain in the imperial guards, and yet he got carsick.
Following the principle that “since we’ve come all this way, we can’t go back empty-handed,” I magnanimously let Kỷ Nam Châu rest where he was while I slung my bow and arrows over my shoulder and walked into the depths of the forest.
Later, I got lost while chasing a wild boar.
On a dark, windy night, even I—a minor bandit chief—couldn’t help shuddering at the wolves howling deep in the forest.
I crawled on all fours into a cave in the cliff face.
My father had told me that in situations like this, the higher the cave, the safer it was.
The cave was very deep. Even at the entrance, I could feel gusts of cold air blowing out.
To keep from freezing to death, I screwed up my courage and crawled inside.
I thought it would get darker the farther in I went, but to my surprise, there was a fire burning at the far end of the cave.
The cave was full of people dressed in black—at least a hundred of them.
In the middle of the cave sat a fat man dressed in red, while a man in black gripped his left arm and twisted it behind his back.
I’ve always had a strong sense of justice. How could I just stand by and do nothing?
“Stop! Let that fat man go!”
The man in black was shouted at, and obediently let go.
I pulled the fat man in red behind me. “Don’t worry. With me, the young master of Liuyun Stronghold, here, they won’t dare lay a finger on you!”
“Liuyun Stronghold… the young master?”
The man in black didn’t believe me. He pulled a portrait from inside his robe and compared it against me, back and forth.
“What… is your name?”
“I don’t change my name when I travel or my surname when I sit. I’m Tô Bắc Đường.”
“The prey walked right into our hands?” The man in black tipped his face toward the sky at a forty-five-degree angle. “Could this be that legendary, heaven-sent fortune?”