But I had no reason to blame her.
When I was fourteen, I learned for the first time how to put on an act.
I didn't put on an act for the people who'd hurt us. Instead, I did it to Vũ Huyên.
On the third day, Vũ Huyên said she wanted to move out.
Trembling, I fought back tears and said:
“No.”
But my voice was too quiet, and Vũ Huyên didn't hear me.
She left just like that, looking somewhat disheveled.
Just like the night she pried open the prison cart and escaped when I was eight.
I stood frozen in the doorway.
Only after her slender figure vanished completely into the night did I collapse to the ground, sobbing.
I wanted to tell her I was wrong, that I shouldn't have blamed her for stopping me.
She'd raised me for six years. How could I not understand that she meant well?
How could I take my anger out on her?
But once I calmed down, it suddenly occurred to me that leaving might be a relief for Vũ Huyên, too.
She was twenty-four.
She deserved a life of her own.
She shouldn't have to wear herself out for us anymore.
When my younger brother came back from martial arts practice, he had a hundred taels in silver notes with him.
He said Vũ Huyên had given them to him, and that she'd asked him to pass this message along to me:
“Getting worked up won't help. Whatever you do, don't follow her example.”
I cried even harder, until I could barely breathe.
My younger brother asked where Vũ Huyên was. I said:
“She left. She's not coming back.”
My younger brother searched for her all night and didn't come back until morning.
23.
Vũ Huyên really was gone.
My younger brother and I grew quiet, and our humble home lost the laughter and conversation it once held.
I bent over my embroidery, not even noticing when the needle pierced my finger.
My younger brother clutched his book of military strategy, flipping back and forth but reading the same page over and over.
A month later, an imperial commissioner arrived from the provincial government.
They arrested everyone who had ruled that my younger brother and the chief examiner should be disqualified from taking the exam.
The wealthy landowner Li's household was arrested as well, accused of collusion between officials and merchants.
Before that, the prefect's brother-in-law, who had framed my father, had fled south in the night.
The next day, my younger brother's first-place result in the children's examination was reinstated.
An official from the provincial government advised my younger brother:
“Prepare well. Next year, you'll have the provincial examination.”
How had life suddenly gotten so much better?
Aside from Vũ Huyên, who else in this world would be kind to us for no reason?
But where was she now?
What had she been doing this past month?
Three months later, I finally got word of Vũ Huyên.
Our neighbor, Auntie Li, said she'd seen Vũ Huyên at a jewelry shop in the provincial capital.
Vũ Huyên could afford to buy jewelry now. That was wonderful.
When she lived with us, she didn't have a single decent outfit, let alone any jewelry.
I was so happy I cried.
My younger brother was grinning from ear to ear, too.
“Why don't we go see her?”
My younger brother and I said in unison.
We'd agreed that if Vũ Huyên was doing well now, we wouldn't bother her.
But we missed her so much that we just wanted to catch a glimpse of her from afar.
We went to the jewelry shop Auntie Li had mentioned and gestured as we asked what Vũ Huyên looked like.
The shopkeeper said he knew Vũ Huyên.
Vũ Huyên was the most famous courtesan at Dreaming Mist House, and a regular customer at this jewelry shop.
My heart sank. Unwilling to accept it, I asked:
“What kind of place is Dreaming Mist House?”
The shopkeeper laughed and said:
“A brothel, of course. Children shouldn't ask so many questions.”
It felt as if I'd been struck by lightning. I stood there, stunned.
“Shopkeeper, do you have any new jewelry?”
The voice of the person who had just arrived sounded exactly like Vũ Huyên's.
24.
The glittering jewels made her look even more beautiful, like a fairy.
When Vũ Huyên recognized us, the painted fan in her hand dropped to the floor with a thump.
I couldn't hold back any longer and threw myself into her arms.
“Stepmother, leave the brothel and come with us. I swear I'll never make you angry again.”
Stepmother said nothing, but the elegant woman beside her spoke coldly:
“Leave? She's already signed a contract selling herself into service.”
Vũ Huyên glared at the elegant woman, her eyes reddening as she hugged me.
“Are you two all right? If you ever need money, come find me.”
My younger brother and I were both crying our eyes out, clutching Vũ Huyên's clothes and refusing to let go.
The elegant woman, called Sister Hong, took us to the back courtyard of Dreaming Mist House.
Vũ Huyên said Sister Hong was actually a very good person.
Sister Hong had been the one to give us the hundred taels before.
Later, Sister Hong heard that my younger brother had been disqualified from the children's examination.
She then spent a thousand taels bribing officials at the prefectural office to help my younger brother get justice.
“Sister Hong has been so good to us. Let's ask her to let you go.”
I asked Vũ Huyên.
But Vũ Huyên shook her head:
“Haven't I taught you? When you're out in the world, you have to keep your word and stand by your friends.”
I asked Vũ Huyên what she usually did.
Vũ Huyên smiled and said:
“I just sit and drink with the customers.”
I asked her if the wine was hard to drink.
Vũ Huyên patted her chest and said:
“All you had in ancient times was rice wine. It's nothing compared to the liquor back home.”
“Still, I went from being a tavern keeper to a serving girl. I guess my life is going backward.”
As if she'd suddenly remembered something, she widened her eyes and asked:
“How are you and your younger brother doing in your studies? You haven't been neglecting them, have you?”
We really had neglected them.
Vũ Huyên grabbed a stick and was about to hit me again.
I didn't dodge. I just grinned foolishly.
Sister Hong had hired us a tutor, a martial arts instructor, and a new embroidery teacher.
A big city really was different. They taught us well.
My younger brother and I improved very quickly.
25.
Then, all of a sudden, I realized that Vũ Huyên had changed, too.
She no longer liked scolding people, and the bold, unruly spirit she'd once had was gone.
I didn't know why, but I was sure it had something to do with us.
Every time Vũ Huyên came back from pouring drinks, she'd drink until she was retching.
All I could do was urge her tearfully to stop drinking. I didn't know what else to do.
I went to Sister Hong and begged her:
“Let Vũ Huyên go. Could I stay and serve drinks instead?”
Sister Hong smiled and said:
“What a grateful child you are. Why don't you ask Vũ Huyên if she agrees?”
Once again, I'd talked myself into a dead end.
Clearly, our living conditions had improved immensely, but I always felt that as time went on, life became harder to bear.
Just like that, another two years passed.
This year, I turned sixteen.
At last, I mastered the art of sewing.
Vũ Huyên used her savings to open my first tailor shop in the prefectural city.
At her suggestion, I made clothes that were better suited to women's figures.
The distinguished young ladies of the prefectural city snapped them up, and the shop was often sold out.
Heaven only knew how she came up with so many exquisite designs.
Vũ Huyên said we should simply charge high prices.
There were plenty of rich people. It would be a waste not to make money from them.
That year, I was stunned. I never imagined I could earn more money than most people made in a lifetime.
I began taking on apprentices and founded Zhao's Cloth Shop, opening more than a dozen branches in quick succession.
At last, things were getting better.
I went to Sister Hong again, hoping to buy Vũ Huyên's freedom.
Sister Hong only smiled and said:
“You silly girl. If Vũ Huyên wanted to leave, she would have been free long ago.”
I didn't understand what Vũ Huyên meant by “loyalty.”
I only knew that Vũ Huyên's health was getting worse.
Sometimes, she even passed blood when she went to the bathroom.
In the end, after I kowtowed to Sister Hong three times, she finally agreed to personally send Vũ Huyên away.
Vũ Huyên refused:
“When my family was at its lowest, you took me in. Now that your business is struggling, how could I just leave? What would that make me?”
In the end, only after I gave Sister Hong ten percent of the shares in Zhao's Cloth Shop did Vũ Huyên agree to leave the Dreaming Spring House.
That day, the air seemed unusually sweet and fragrant.
At last, I dared to breathe freely.
But I never expected Sister Hong to burn the document for the ten percent share I'd given her.
She said:
“Vũ Huyên says I'm her ‘best friend.’ How could I take money from my best friend?”
26.
As Zhao's Cloth Shop expanded rapidly, my younger brother was making impressive progress of his own.
My younger brother passed the provincial examination and then the palace examination, advancing all the way to the title of Martial Champion.
But just before the contest for the title of Champion, our relatives began appearing one after another.
They tried to accuse my younger brother of being the son of the convicted official Zhao Qian.
He should have been exiled to the border to perform hard labor, they claimed, but had assumed a new identity to take part in the martial examinations for the title of Champion.
I was so furious I ground my teeth.
Those relatives certainly had some nerve.
Back when my father fell on hard times and was poor, the whole clan had been eager to drive him out of the family.
Later, after my father passed the imperial examination and became a county magistrate, our relatives came to the house every day to curry favor and borrow money.
Later still, when my father was framed by villains and we were exiled to the border, our relatives avoided us as if we were cursed.
They left us, a widowed mother and her orphaned children, to fend for ourselves.
Ten years passed. Just as we were about to rise again, our relatives dealt us a devastating blow.
I couldn't hold back any longer.
Vũ Huyên once said that most relatives don't want to see you doing well.
She was absolutely right.
I planned to find Vũ Huyên and discuss how to deal with these relatives.
But Vũ Huyên was nowhere to be found.
I asked Sister Hong where she'd gone.
Sister Hong shook her head and said she didn't know.
She'd only seen Vũ Huyên take fifty jars of wine and a few of the shop's servants and head out.
This is bad!
27.
When I arrived at the clan chief's home, Vũ Huyên had already smashed every jar of wine.
The courtyard was thick with the smell of wine.
Vũ Huyên looked just as she had when she first married my father. Pointing at the clan chief, she unleashed a furious stream of abuse:
“You rotten old bastard! You dare ruin my child's future? I'll burn your whole family alive!”