8.
Night fell. I wore a long red dress and played a piece on the piano onstage.
When I came offstage, Tần Tử Dục stopped me.
He looked at my exposed, porcelain-white shoulders, awe flashing in his eyes.
He smiled at me. “You look beautiful tonight.”
While I was playing, I’d noticed him and Old Master Tần sitting in the front row, watching me without blinking.
Old Master Tần was the school’s principal, as well as the head of the Tần family.
Tần Tử Dục continued, his voice a little tense. “My grandfather really likes you. He was delighted to hear that we used to be in love.”
I lifted my chin slightly and looked at him. “What are you trying to say?”
“If we got married, it would be good for both our families.”
Tần Tử Dục’s gaze was still as gentle as ever, but his circumstances had changed, and there was none of the old insecurity in his eyes.
He wasn’t the same man anymore.
“You don’t want the Gu family’s company to end up in the hands of someone who isn’t even related to you by blood, do you?”
I looked toward the person walking over from the auditorium.
His tall, slender figure was swallowed by the darkness. The scattered stage lights fell across his dark eyes.
When he looked at me, even the light in his eyes softened.
I gave Tần Tử Dục a faint smile and said coldly,
“Who do you think you are? What business is it of yours what happens to the Gu family?”
Cố Ngôn Xuyên stopped on his way to the front row.
He leaned down slightly to hear what Old Master Tần was saying.
I didn’t know what they were saying.
I only saw Old Master Tần’s expression grow uglier by the minute, just like Tần Tử Dục’s.
Just then, Cố Tư Tư, wearing her dance costume, peeked out from backstage with a group of girls.
[What kind of person is your grandson to think he’s good enough for my sister?]
[Those two even talk alike.]
[Good thing my lip-reading is level ten. I don’t have to get close to catch the gossip.]
I couldn’t even be bothered to look at Tần Tử Dục. I walked past him and headed outside.
The far end of the hallway was quiet and dark.
A spark glowed between Cố Ngôn Xuyên’s fingers, and white smoke nearly veiled his cold face.
He lifted his head slightly. The moment he saw me, he instinctively put out the cigarette in his hand.
“Why haven’t you changed yet?”
I lifted the hem of my dress as I walked over to him, then looked up and asked,
“You’ve never come to my performances before. Why did you come today?”
“I come every time. You just never noticed.” His voice was soft.
I knew he was always trying to fool me.
He took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders, his gaze unusually tender.
“Tích Tích played beautifully today. And you looked so pretty…”
I should’ve been happy to hear him say something like that, but for some reason, unease stirred in my heart.
“You said this morning that you wanted to talk to me… What did you want to talk about?”
In the dim light, he gazed intently at me, his voice hoarse.
“I know you’re not interested in taking over the company. I’ll get the shares sorted out within two months and transfer the company to someone else. You can take the money and do whatever you want.”
I stared at him in disbelief. “You’re going to leave me behind?”
He reached out and brushed my hair. It was only a light touch, but he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. His fingertips threaded through my hair, gently stroking it.
“I don’t have a choice.”
My vision blurred as tears welled in my eyes.
“When my dad died, you promised you’d stay by my side for the rest of my life.”
“You… You lied to me again…”
His hand froze in midair, then he drew it back.
He lowered his head to look at me, his expression desolate. His hair was tousled over his forehead and his eyes were red-rimmed. He looked even less able to accept this than I was.
“I thought I could stay by your side for the rest of your life like any ordinary person.”
“But I can’t control myself as well as I thought I could.”
I tugged at his sleeve, acting spoiled like I used to.
“I think I’ve just had my heart broken.”
“Can you go have a drink with me?”
9.
I rode with Cố Ngôn Xuyên to his office.
It used to be my father’s office.
I opened the cabinet and took out an expensive bottle of wine from the year I was born. Just as I was about to open it, he stopped me.
“Your uncle said this bottle was for you to drink when you got married.”
I lowered my eyes and said nothing. A hot tear fell onto the back of his hand.
“If it isn’t you, then what’s the point…”
“I thought you were cold to me because you hated having me underfoot.”
“Sometimes I hate myself, too. I’m always dragging you down, never any help.”
“So when I found out you liked me too, I thought things would be different.”
I lifted my head to look at him, my gaze unfocused.
“Can you tell me why?”
“If you leave me like this, I’ll be miserable for the rest of my life. Maybe I’ll never heal.”
Cố Ngôn Xuyên took the bottle of wine from me and carefully put it back in the wine cabinet. Then he took out a bottle of whisky and went to the window to look out at the river.
Blue fireworks bloomed in the night sky. Their dazzling light quickly vanished, and the light in his eyes dimmed, too.
“My mother was a beautiful woman. She could dance and sing, and many people were secretly in love with her, but she only loved my father.”
“She loved my father in a sick, obsessive way.”
“So when she found out my father was having an affair, she put sleeping pills in their food, lit charcoal, and took her own life.”
He filled a glass with liquor. The woody scent of him mingled with the smell of alcohol, seeming to fill the air.
When he looked at me, his eyes were hazy, as if he were looking through a veil of mist.
“Maybe I feel that way about you, too. Back then, when I saw you with Tần Tử Dục, I even thought about dying with you.” He gave a self-mocking smile. “I’m a sick person. Don’t you find me disgusting?”
It began to rain outside. Drops struck the window, then slid down the glass.
Cố Ngôn Xuyên turned to look at me and smiled gently. His handsome face looked even more striking.
“Tích Tích, I’m asking you for one thing. Please don’t be disgusted by me.”
“After I leave, forget about me.”
I wiped away my tears, stepped forward, and wrapped my arms around him.
He flinched. The bottle in his hand fell onto the carpet, and the smell of liquor spread through the room.
“I don’t need to know any of that.”
“All I know is that you were the only one who survived that fire. The orphanage director also said you were terrified of fire…”
My voice choked up.
“But when we got into that car accident, the first thing you did after getting into the car was risk your life to pull me out.”
I closed my eyes, and the car accident from several years ago unfolded before me.
The front of the car had been crushed out of shape and was beginning to catch fire. I could hear the crackling of flames in the air beside me.
The air reeked of burning, and it seemed like the car could explode at any moment.
Cố Ngôn Xuyên stood outside the car, smashed the window with his bare hands, pried my father’s arm away from me, then pulled me out with his hands covered in blood and shouted for help with all his strength.
“You care about me so much… You wouldn’t do that.”
“Even after hearing you say all that, I still like you. I like you so much…”
“You’re such an idiot. Don’t think you can abandon me just because of that.”
My voice trembled.
My damp breath mingled with the cool scent on him, enveloping me like a tide.
All I could do was hold him tightly and confess the deepest secret in my heart.
I looked up and asked him.
“You know I’d never hurt you, right?”
His palm, lightly callused, gently wiped the tears from the corner of my eye.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you—not even myself.”
“Cố Tích.” He said my name softly. “If that day ever comes, I’ll die in front of you.”
He lowered his head to look at me. His eyes were as dark as the deep sea, with currents churning beneath the surface.
“I hate myself, too. You wouldn’t like me.”
“If you hate me…”
I watched the light in his eyes fade.
A pang of sorrow rose in my heart.
Even someone as outstanding as him could feel insecure.
I looked up at him. “Do you know how I feel about you?”
His gaze stiffened.
“I’m a wicked supporting character. There’s no way my thoughts could be innocent.” I said, “Of course I want to sleep with you…”
I moved my hands in front of him and began undoing his buttons one by one.
He immediately grabbed my hands. His fingers seemed to tremble as he warned me in a low voice.
“Tích Tích, don’t make trouble.”
I forced myself to sound calm. “Shut up and stop butting into my business!”
Seeing my reaction, he smiled faintly. “Are you scared?”
I pressed my lips together, gave a slight nod, pulled my hands free of his, and hit the switch on the table.
The room suddenly went pitch-black.
Only the faint light outside the window filtered through the rain and fell across his eyes. His gaze wavered.
I grabbed the hem of his shirt, rose onto my toes, and kissed him.
In the darkness, his cool scent seemed to swallow up all my senses.
It was a brief, hurried kiss.
My lashes trembled as I panted, “The last time I asked if you liked me, I couldn’t wait for your answer anymore.”
In the dim light, his Adam’s apple bobbed again and again, and his voice was hoarse.
“I do. I’ve always liked you.”
“Then you’re not allowed to get engaged to anyone else.”
“All right.”
“Do you want to give us a try?” I asked softly.
The room was so quiet that all I could hear was the rain and the sound of my own heartbeat.
Cố Ngôn Xuyên gazed at me in silence for a long time.
I had to admit, I was terrified he would reject me.
His breathing grew heavier. He moved slowly toward me through the darkness, and his hot kiss fell on my ear.
“Tích Tích, how could I not like you?”
“I can’t bring myself to reject you, so I’m giving up resisting.”
He held my chin and tilted it up slightly so I could see him clearly.
In his dark eyes, I saw undisguised possessiveness.
He lowered his head and kissed me hard on the lips.
The heat between us kept building.
He placed a hand on my waist and pulled me tightly against him.
Only when he tasted blood did he finally pull away, panting.
I looked up and smiled at him. “If you’d rejected me just now, I would’ve broken your legs so you couldn’t go anywhere and would have to stay by my side.”
Cố Ngôn Xuyên immediately lost control, going completely wild.
He kissed the tears at the corner of my eye, his hoarse voice both seductive and dangerous.
“I’m sorry. I’m going to make you cry again in a little while…”
He scooped me up in his arms and kicked open the door to the lounge.
Outside the window, the rain continued to fall.
The heat in the room kept rising.
Even the air felt hot.