Because I usually inspect all the food and drinks the young master gets.
When he saw me, panic flashed in his eyes. But then he seemed to remember how “practical” I was, and his expression gradually relaxed.
“How much do you want?”
I immediately put on an expression of overwhelming sorrow.
“How could you think that about me? He’s my young master! He’s my golden goose!”
He looked a little flustered.
“Then… are you going to turn me in?”
I changed my tune in a second, smiling obsequiously.
“What are you talking about? How could you not tell me about this connection sooner? How much is the next batch of poison? Get me in on it!”
He stared at me, dumbfounded.
“What do you think this is?”
“The kind that helps you climb the ladder, right? You want to move up, or is there someone else who does? No matter—just give me half when you succeed!”
“It’s… poison!”
…
I froze.
After a moment, he came to and forced a smile.
“So… the pay’s really good, right?”
“Mm…”
“Put in a good word for me!”
“…Get lost.”
12
As expected, the one who wanted the young master dead was that idiotic Second Uncle.
He had blond hair and blue eyes too, but on the young master, they made him look stunningly beautiful and almost otherworldly.
On the old man, though… all they did was make him look like an idiot.
The young master’s father seemed so smart, though.
How could they share the same blood and be so wildly different?
Clearly, he’d been jealous of the young master for a long time.
Whenever someone mentioned how the old master favored the young master, he’d want to tear a piece of flesh off the young master.
After listening to him rant about how “the whole world owed him,” I pretended to be outraged.
“The old master is being so unfair! You’re still alive and well, so why hand the power over to your nephew? He clearly doesn’t respect you at all!
Sure, you may fall a little short of the young master—not as smart as him, not as capable as him… but you’re still his SON!
Handing it straight to his grandson? What’s wrong with the old master’s head?!”
My perfectly timed flattery made his face flush with excitement. He shoved the packet of poison into my hand, transferred 100,000 to me on the spot, and said he’d pay another million if the plan worked.
I checked my account balance—not a cent had been added.
Tch. He was even stingier about hiring an assassin than he was when he hired me to take the fall for the young master.
I sighed. People really aren’t all created equal.
But I kept smiling and thumped my chest, promising.
“Don’t worry! I get things done!”
13
The young master was hospitalized after being poisoned.
Good news: He was faking it.
Better news: I’d received a million.
I looked at the young master lying in his hospital bed, made up to look “frail and near death,” and felt my insides twist.
Where was the young master who used to be as fierce as a tiger?
How had he turned into an idiot playing the delicate damsel?!
“How do I look? Is it convincing? Tell me, will Zhao Yue come and sob his heart out?”
I was pretty sure Zhao Yue wouldn’t come.
After all, he was far too used to the young master’s “playing the victim” routine.
Day one—Zhao Yue didn’t come.
Day two—still no show.
By day three, the young master was panicking.
So he ordered his personal doctor to issue a death notice!
As a result, not only did Zhao Yue come…
The old master and the whole family showed up too!
Unfortunately, the room was packed three deep with people.
Zhao Yue was at the very back and couldn’t push his way in.
The young master was frantic. Even with someone holding him back, he clutched the bedsheet so hard he nearly tore it to shreds.
If I hadn’t quietly pinned his hand down, he’d have sprung up and sat bolt upright.
But for the sake of the plan, all he could do was lie there pretending to be “unconscious.”
The old master was furious and ordered a full investigation!
My heart pounded as I lowered my head and fidgeted nervously—then, out of nowhere, I was called by name.
“You’re in charge of the entire investigation.”
Oh, now we’re talking!
I rolled up my sleeves and got to work. That evening, just as Second Uncle was throwing a party to celebrate his “successful plan,” I led a group in and caught him red-handed.
I had plenty of evidence in hand, too.
When the old master finished reviewing it, he still seemed a little unable to believe it.
Because, in his view, no matter how fiercely they fought over the inheritance, they must never harm their own family.
Someone with no morals, whose family ties meant nothing, would only bring disaster to the family—even if he became the heir.
14
That day, I won a spectacular victory.
I was just about to head back to the hospital room and share the good news with the young master when, through the glass panel, I spotted someone sitting in a chair beside the bed—his eyes rimmed red and brimming with tears.
It was Zhao Yue.
He sat there quietly. After just a few days apart, he looked noticeably thinner—more like the patient than the young master. His eyes were unnaturally red.
After a while, he stood up, then came back and suddenly bent down to kiss the young master’s lips—pale beneath the makeup meant to make him look sick.
After the kiss, his grief-stricken expression suddenly turned to confusion.
Zhao Yue raised a hand to wipe his mouth, rubbing off a layer of pale lipstick.
He leaned down to sniff it, then drew in a startled breath.
“Chocolate…?!”
I stood outside, my face turning deathly pale.
Oh no—the lip gloss the young master put on was scented?!
Oh, crap. We’re busted, young master!
Sure enough, Zhao Yue’s gentle expression instantly froze.
“You… tricked me again?!”
The young master lay perfectly still.
Zhao Yue went over to check the monitor—it was playing a fake video.
Then he checked the IV—a glucose solution.
This was already the young master’s umpteenth time faking an illness to trick Zhao Yue.
At first, he meant to explain, but when he saw Zhao Yue’s icy expression, he immediately changed tactics—
when all else fails, “throw a grenade”!
He wrapped an arm around Zhao Yue’s neck and kissed him deeply.
Zhao Yue struggled every which way but couldn’t break free. He could only endure it passively.
After that passionate, shameless kiss…
I didn’t dare look. But I didn’t need to guess how it ended.
SMACK!—a bright red slap.
Zhao Yue stormed off.
When I went into the room, I saw the young master sit bolt upright, clutching his face and grinning like an idiot.
“That was the first time he’s ever kissed me first! Zhao Yue must be madly in love with me!”
I tried to bring him back to his senses.
“But he also… slapped you.”
“But he only slapped me, not anyone else! That proves I’m the most special person to him!”
Not special… just the thickest-skinned.
I rolled my eyes and placed the file on the young master’s desk.
In an instant, he switched modes, going from stupid to cold and calculating. He swept his gaze around, then curled his lips into a smile—one both sinister and terrifying:
“I hear Second Uncle looks down on a relationship like the one between Zhao Yue and me. Then let him enjoy an extended stay in a special prison. And remember—not a single special privilege.”
I nodded furiously. For that 1.1 million, I silently lit two sticks of incense for him in my heart.
I bet he never expected to lose both his virginity and his dignity in his final years.
I handed over another stack of documents.
As soon as the young master finished reading, he went right back to being an idiot:
“Use Second Uncle’s assets to invest in research!
I… I want to have a baby with Zhao Yue as soon as possible!
Our baby is sure to be incredibly cute!”
16
Just as the young master confirmed the research results were reliable and was about to carry out his “have a baby with Zhao Yue” plan—Zhao Yue ran away again!
The young master immediately stormed over to his grandfather, who was fishing, and shouted angrily:
“Grandpa! No matter how many times you try to split us up, I’ll find him and bring him back!”
“Want to hold a great-grandchild? I’ll give you one!”
Those last words startled Grandpa so badly that he nearly fell over while fishing:
“Your boyfriend ran away again? What’s that got to do with me?!
I didn’t interfere this time. Do whatever you two want—I don’t care!”
The young master snorted coldly and turned to leave.
I hurried after him, and heard Grandpa muttering behind us:
“He’ll give birth? What does that mean?
Isn’t that little Zhao kid the one who’s supposed to give birth?!”
This time, with Grandpa out of the way, finding him was incredibly easy.
We found Zhao Yue sitting beneath a large tree on campus, reading and lost in thought.
Beside him was a handsome young man who looked like a freshman at most.
His face was a little red, but he put on an arrogant air:
“Hey! Tell me your name already!”
Zhao Yue furrowed his brow. Before he could answer, a familiar voice rang out behind him:
“Where’d this little punk come from, trying to hit on people?”
The young master’s face darkened, but he had no intention of picking a fight with a kid.
Especially when he saw how young the boy looked, his face not even fully grown in yet. He couldn’t be bothered to lay a hand on him.
Who knew that the young man would leap to his feet at the words “little punk”:
“You’re the little one! You’re little!
You’re little everywhere!
Damn it, you old man!”
The young master lost his temper too, grabbed the kid by the collar, and hauled him up.
I suddenly remembered what the young master was like before meeting Zhao Yue: hot-tempered, reckless, and always acting before thinking.
I was genuinely sweating for that kid.
Luckily, Zhao Yue stopped him in time.
He’d clearly meant to pretend he didn’t know the young master, but things had gone far beyond what he’d expected.
Or, more accurately, these two were both far more childish than anyone could have imagined.
The young master especially—once he got jealous, he lost all reason.
“I’m sorry. If my young master was rude, I hope you’ll forgive him.”
Another young man stepped out of a nearby convenience store. He looked polite, but there was a hint of menace in his eyes.
The young master clearly recognized him.
Perhaps because Zhao Yue had stepped in, the young master let the boy go, then immediately launched into a whole routine of apologizing, sucking up, and clinging to him.
Meanwhile, as I looked at that arrogant young man, plot ideas fired off in my head:
【Arrogant young master × stubborn bottom × cool, steady housekeeper top】
Or:
【Naive young lord × calm, seductive, scheming male servant】
I shivered with excitement—the wolf in me was raring to go!
When I got home, I wrote ten thousand words in one sitting!
17
Miss Hứa and the young master had only ever been engaged for business reasons.
They’d agreed to pursue true love freely.
Finally, on the day Zhao Yue officially forgave the young master—
the young master immediately went public: Zhao Yue was the one he loved.
Afterward, the two flew abroad to get married.
But the young master still didn’t feel secure.
He was afraid Zhao Yue would run away again.
So he tried every trick in the book, shamelessly begged, and forced Zhao Yue to take fertility medication.
And then—he took it too.
The result was…
After nights of aching embarrassment and exhaustion, both of them were pregnant.
For the baby’s sake, the young master couldn’t control himself, so Zhao Yue kicked him off the bed and chased him out of the room.
He curled up outside the door with a pillow, looking utterly pitiful.
The baby hadn’t even been born, and its father had already fallen out of favor.
Grandpa, on the other hand, was beaming, because all of a sudden he had… two great-grandchildren!
He immediately gave Zhao Yue several houses.
The young master wasn’t happy about it at all.
“Money’s fine, but why give him houses?!
What if my wife moves out?!”
As for how men can get pregnant…
Don’t ask me how it works—I have no idea.
All I know is, I’ve now become a fertility-drug specialist.
I couldn’t be more satisfied.
From now on, men can take care of having babies.
If you think the population is too low, go have a baby yourself.
Keep having them until you’re satisfied!
After that, many male couples started coming to buy the medicine.
They came together openly and proudly, love shining in their eyes.
There has never been anything shameful about same-sex love.
We live for ourselves—not to let other people’s words make us tear ourselves down.
As news of husbands “successfully getting pregnant” kept spreading…
My very own goddess of fortune, Miss Hứa, transferred money to me:
“Hurry up and develop medicine so women can have babies together!”
—THE END—