3.
Three days after Bạch Tiểu Dụ left, Noah Walker’s life hadn’t changed at all.
He ate and drank as he pleased, spent all night drinking, and came and went with other people at upscale places. He was even more carefree and happy than when Bạch Tiểu Dụ was still at home.
With no one nagging him and no need to deal with anyone else’s jealousy, Noah Walker felt this was the life he’d always dreamed of.
A carefree, luxurious life.
When did he start thinking about Bạch Tiểu Dụ?
Maybe it was that day when he went drinking with a client. He drank until he was barely conscious, and when he woke the next morning, his head felt ready to split open. The sheets around him smelled awful, the air conditioner droned, and the whole room stank.
He remembered that he’d drunk too much the night before and felt nauseated.
Thinking about how he’d slept in that filthy bed all night, Noah Walker’s already aching head throbbed even worse. He grew irritated and called her name without thinking.
“Bạch Tiểu Dụ, my head hurts!”
The room remained as quiet as ever. No one was there to scold him and bring him some hangover soup.
Noah Walker blinked blankly, then remembered that Bạch Tiểu Dụ had broken up with him.
With no other choice, he grumpily cleaned the room himself.
After cleaning the room and taking care of himself, he felt a hollow ache in his stomach and started missing the bowl of vegetarian noodles Bạch Tiểu Dụ used to make.
When Bạch Tiểu Dụ was still here, she’d make sure he was bathed and clean whenever he came home from entertaining clients. He’d never woken up with a headache the next day.
She was an excellent cook. Even a bowl of vegetarian noodles was enough to make your mouth water.
He opened the refrigerator, and a foul smell wafted out. The food he hadn’t finished a few days ago had all spoiled.
After he threw out the spoiled food, the refrigerator was completely empty. Noah Walker searched high and low and finally found the batch of pork bone soup Bạch Tiểu Dụ had simmered and frozen some time ago.
After more than an hour of fumbling around, he finally managed to make a bowl of bone broth noodles.
The steaming hot broth slid down his throat and into his stomach. Only then did Noah Walker feel as if he’d come back to life.
Once he’d eaten his fill, Noah Walker stretched out comfortably on the chair. “Bạch Tiểu Dụ, do the dishes!”
The familiar complaints were gone. Once again, Noah Walker realized—oh, Bạch Tiểu Dụ was gone.
Noah Walker fell silent, staring blankly at the fat-cat bowl on the table.
In the fourth year of their relationship, they’d decided to move in together. They could save on rent and have a chance to work out, too. They’d bought this set of dishes then, and Bạch Tiểu Dụ had picked it out herself.
What had Bạch Tiểu Dụ said back then?
“What do you know? This bowl is big, so it’s handy for noodles or rice, and the pattern’s pretty, too. Grown-ups and kids can both use it.”
“Kids?” Noah Walker’s eyes crinkled as he teased her. “You can’t wait to have my baby, huh? Then I’d better give it my all tonight!”
“Get lost!”
Flushed from his teasing, Bạch Tiểu Dụ kicked him and ran off.
“Hey, wait up!”
Noah Walker caught up with her and, grinning, gathered the flushed Bạch Tiểu Dụ into his arms.
Though Noah Walker teased her for being childish, after she left, he quietly doubled back to buy the set of dishes. Bạch Tiểu Dụ was so happy she kissed him.
Those were good times.
Everyone thought they’d get married soon, have a child, and live out their lives together in peace.
It wasn’t just Bạch Tiểu Dụ who thought so; even Noah Walker thought the same.
How had they ended up like this?
When it came down to it, he really had wronged Bạch Tiểu Dụ.
Bạch Tiểu Dụ had been with him for eight years. His parents treated her like their daughter-in-law, and she’d even gone home with him for the holidays. But in the end, she never got to see the day Noah Walker married her. Every time he went to visit his parents, they brought up marriage.
Even Noah Walker himself couldn’t understand it. He clearly loved Bạch Tiểu Dụ and had planned to spend the rest of his life with her, yet every time they got close to taking that step, he backed away.
He didn’t have the courage to marry her.
Bạch Tiểu Dụ had spent all eight years of her youth on Noah Walker. For the first time, he felt like a complete bastard.
The whole house seemed steeped in memories. Bạch Tiểu Dụ had truly come to think of their rented house as home.
On the fourth day after Bạch Tiểu Dụ left, Noah Walker realized she was everywhere.
4.
He missed Bạch Tiểu Dụ, but couldn’t bring himself to swallow his pride and seek her out.
Just as Noah Walker was wrestling with himself, his mother called. “Noah, why isn’t Tiểu Dụ answering her phone? Did you two have a fight?”
Noah Walker had already been in a foul mood, and hearing that only made him more irritated.
He brushed her off casually. “No, it was just a little disagreement. We’ll be fine in a couple of days.”
Only then did Trần’s Mother relax. “That’s good. That’s good.”
“I’m busy right now. Did you need something, Mom? If not, I’m hanging up.”
“Hey, hey, don’t hang up! Your father and I are out of blood pressure medicine. Tell Tiểu Dụ to send us some.”
Noah Walker didn’t understand. “What medicine? Why does it have to be sent from here? Can’t you buy it near home?”
Trần’s Mother explained for a while, and Noah Walker listened patiently for quite some time. Only then did he manage to pick out the important information from all the irrelevant details.
Noah Walker’s parents had high blood pressure and needed to take medication long-term. Two years earlier, they’d switched to a new medicine with fewer side effects and better results, but it was hard to find in their small city—and cost more there than it did in the big city.
After Bạch Tiểu Dụ found out, she’d always bought the medicine and sent it to his parents.
Noah Walker felt a pang of regret. Bạch Tiểu Dụ had never told him any of this. He hadn’t even known his parents had switched medications.
He was their son, yet he knew less than an outsider like Bạch Tiểu Dụ.
Noah Walker’s parents were simple, hardworking farmers. They weren’t highly educated, but they loved him dearly and had put him through college entirely on their own, sending him to the bright, bustling city.
After Noah Walker moved to the big city, he started looking down on them as backward. As time went by, he had less and less patience for his parents.
At the slightest provocation, he’d shut down their concern with, “You wouldn’t understand,” then hang up. Only Bạch Tiểu Dụ never minded the inconvenience; she would just sit and talk with them.
With Bạch Tiểu Dụ there to care for his parents on his behalf, he was more than happy to leave it all to her.
Now, hearing the careful concern in his mother’s voice, Noah Walker felt his guilt swell to its breaking point.
“Mom, don’t worry. Tiểu Dụ and I are doing great. I’ll buy the medicine and send it to you both in a little while… We’ll come home for the New Year and talk about getting married!”
Today, Trần’s Mother had talked with her son for a long time. Her voice was bright as she agreed again and again. “Good, good! That’s wonderful, that’s wonderful!”
Before hanging up, Trần’s Mother said earnestly to her son, “Noah Walker, Bạch Tiểu Dụ is a good girl. Treating her well is the same as treating yourself well.”
“Yes, Mom. I know.”
After hanging up, Noah Walker trembled inside.
He slapped himself and muttered, “Noah Walker, you’re worse than a thing!”
Noah Walker regretted it.
He missed Tiểu Dụ so much—so, so much. He truly knew he’d been wrong.
Compared with Bạch Tiểu Dụ, a man’s pride meant nothing.
He typed out a long apology to Bạch Tiểu Dụ. The moment he hit send, he felt a weight lift off his shoulders.
It wasn’t so hard to swallow his pride and admit he was wrong.
A bright red exclamation point made Noah Walker’s eyes ache.
Something suddenly occurred to him, and he hurried to the closet at the very back.
This was where Bạch Tiểu Dụ kept her seasonal clothes. The last few times she’d left, she hadn’t touched this closet.
Now it was empty.
Noah Walker stood there, flustered and at a loss.
This time was different from their previous breakups.
Bạch Tiểu Dụ seemed to really want to break up with him this time.
5.
Noah Walker was truly panicking.
He hurriedly tried every way he could to contact Bạch Tiểu Dụ, only to find he’d been blocked everywhere—not even her secondary accounts were an exception.
Noah Walker hurriedly called Giang Dao Dao.
He told himself not to panic. Bạch Tiểu Dụ had no family here; she could only have gone to Giang Dao Dao’s place.
Giang Dao Dao was Bạch Tiểu Dụ’s childhood friend and best friend. She’d always been at odds with him and never treated him kindly.
She was always saying Noah Walker was born an idiot, and that she wished she could smack some sense into him.
She was a woman with a sharp tongue, and she never repeated an insult. She was a real handful. If he could help it, Noah Walker really didn’t want to call her just to get chewed out.
But he had no choice. He had to find her.
The call connected. Noah Walker had barely said, “Hello,” when she hung up on him.
Noah Walker wasn’t angry. He called again.
He called about ten times in a row before Giang Dao Dao, fuming, finally answered.
She opened with her usual greeting: “Noah Walker, what the hell is wrong with you?”
Afraid she’d hang up on him again—and even more afraid she’d block him—Noah Walker rushed on without pausing for breath. “Giang Dao Dao, I know Bạch Tiểu Dụ is with you. Don’t deny it! Put her on the phone, now. I really have something important to tell her. I’m not joking—this is a matter of life and death. It has to be her!”
There was a moment of silence on the other end. Then she snapped, “Just say what you want. I’m busy. I don’t have time to listen to you ramble.”
Noah Walker still tried to seize the opportunity. “Just hand the phone to Bạch Tiểu Dụ. I’ll talk to her.”
Giang Dao Dao was about to lose her temper. “Oh, you want to talk to her? Then call her. Why are you calling me?”
Noah Walker: “…”
He wanted to, but Bạch Tiểu Dụ had blocked him!
But he couldn’t say that. If he did, he’d be done for. Giang Dao Dao would definitely tell him, “Serves you right,” then hang up.
With no other choice, Noah Walker had to tell her what was really going on.
“My parents asked me to send them their new blood pressure medication… Only Bạch Tiểu Dụ knows what medication they’re taking now.”
As soon as Giang Dao Dao heard that, she burst out laughing. “Noah Walker, for fuck’s sake, have some shame! They’re your parents! You don’t even know what your own parents take? And you have the nerve to say that out loud?”
Noah Walker’s expression darkened. “That’s between us. Just hand the phone to Bạch Tiểu Dụ. I’ll talk to her myself!”
Giang Dao Dao snapped, “Get lost!”
Then she hung up without a shred of hesitation.
Noah Walker called again, only to find he couldn’t get through.
That woman had blocked him, too.
Noah Walker raked his hair into a bird’s nest, feeling utterly defeated.
Now that Bạch Tiểu Dụ was gone, he had no idea where to buy his parents’ medication. He really was useless.
About ten minutes later, Giang Dao Dao temporarily unblocked Noah Walker and sent him a very long message, explaining exactly what medication his parents took, where to buy it, and all sorts of other little details. It was so thorough, it almost sounded like a goodbye.
Giang Dao Dao didn’t know any of that. The only person who could have sent that message was Bạch Tiểu Dụ.
Noah Walker didn’t find it strange. The message sparked hope in him once more: Bạch Tiểu Dụ still had feelings for him.
Before he could even reply, he realized he couldn’t send messages.
Well, he’d only been let out for a moment before being locked back in the dark again.
Noah Walker hurried to the address in the message to buy the medication and send it to his parents, already planning to make sure he saw Bạch Tiểu Dụ at least once.