9
The content was so gripping, yet no one said a word in the comments.
That was because everyone was stunned by the sight before them.
First, Lâm Hữu Hi kept pressing the phone's shortcut keys, trying to disconnect. When that didn't work, he hit the power button, but the phone seemed to refuse to obey him.
Just then, another phone belonging to Lâm Hữu Hi rang on the table. He hadn't paid it any attention, but when he saw the number, he answered.
“What did you say? Sorcerer Phan Bình is dead? When did it happen?!”
By the time he finished that last sentence, he was practically shouting. He was no longer his usual calm self.
The person on the other end said something, and Lâm Hữu Hi turned and ran—only to stumble and fall to the ground.
He was just about to get up when he let out a scream. The next moment, several stiff dolls appeared in front of the camera.
The screen went black, and the connection was cut.
The scene was so bizarre that it took everyone a while to come to their senses.
[Did you guys just see that? My darling husband's doll… moved?]
[It really did move! I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me! But wasn't that a life-size doll? How could it move?]
[No, wait, didn't Your Highness just say that doll was made from… a corpse? But even a corpse can't move, right?]
[A rich country, a democratic country, a strong people! A rich country, a democratic country, a strong people! May all bad luck disappear!]
Faced with the viewers' questions, I just smiled and said nothing.
Someone must have called the police, but it would take time for a patrol car to arrive—plenty of time for the dolls to act.
Yes, they were the teenagers Lâm Hữu Hi had murdered.
After they died, Lâm Hữu Hi turned them into dolls and hired a sorcerer to use magic to imprison their souls, thinking he could sleep easy that way.
But today, the sorcerer died suddenly, and his spell lost its power.
Once the wronged souls were free, the first thing they did was naturally seek out Lâm Hữu Hi.
As for my subordinates, the Black and White Impermanence, they would stand by and watch the souls take their revenge, then collect them afterward. Perfect!
“Sweethearts, wait a moment. I'm stepping out to pick up a delivery. I'll be right back.”
10
I struggled to move three trunks by myself. They were all daily necessities to be burned for the Underworld.
I'd paid for them with the money I'd earned from fortune-telling!
I was just wondering where anyone could find a little demon as hardworking and devoted as Your Highness!
It wasn't long before someone brought some explosive news.
[Holy crap! Something really happened to Lâm Hữu Hi. They carried him out covered in blood! I live next door to him!]
[I don't know if he's alive or dead. Maybe we'll hear something today!]
[I'm a staunch materialist, but I kind of believe what Your Highness said. I'll become a fan first and see what happens!]
I put the box away and wiped the sweat from my forehead. “Any of you sweethearts want a reading? Your Highness here is incredibly accurate!”
Everyone was so shaken by what had happened to Lâm Hữu Hi that, for a moment, no one reacted.
And so Mặc Mặc Vô Văn snatched up the spot.
He sent a Carnival gift, then quickly messaged me: [Your Highness, please tell my fortune! I spent my last coin of the month on a gift for you!]
I agreed.
Before long, a middle-aged man with a weathered face appeared before us.
He looked past his prime. He wore a greasy chef's uniform, and his face was smeared with grime.
He awkwardly rubbed his hands together and said, a little sheepishly, “Sorry, Your Highness. I just got off work and haven't had a chance to change. I didn't mean any disrespect.”
I smiled. “It's all right. What would you like to ask?”
The man took a deep breath, as if summoning all his courage. “I'm thirty-eight this year. I didn't get much schooling, and I work as a chef at a small restaurant. I make over five thousand yuan a month.”
“I don't own a house or a car, and I don't have any friends. But recently, a young woman suddenly confessed her feelings for me and insisted she wanted to marry me.”
At this, the man blushed. “I thought my circumstances would hold her back, so I turned her down and told her not to come looking for me. But she…”
The man swallowed, looking too embarrassed to speak. After a long pause, he continued, “Actually, while I was at work, she found a locksmith to pick the lock on my door and moved right in. She even does my laundry and cooks for me… I wanted to ask if she's my destined match.”
The viewers were delighted to hear this.
[That's a wonderful relationship. This girl is so straightforward. You're not getting any younger, so hurry up and get your marriage license!]
[Exactly, sir. There aren't many women these days who don't want gifts or a house. You should cherish her!]
Someone raised the obvious question: [How old is this woman, anyway, to be so eager to get married? She's not in her seventies or eighties, is she?]
The man suddenly grew agitated. “N-no… She's only twenty, and she's still a college student!”
The comments erupted with laughter.
[A twenty-year-old college student proposed to you? I'm in the bathroom right now. If that's true, I'll eat the toilet!]
[What do you think she sees in you? Your age, or the fact that you don't bathe?]
[I'm dying—this guy's playing the long con, raising his target before making his move. First, they zero in on older guys like you. Next, they ask you to invest!]
“N-no… She's not that kind of person!”
Just as the man was blushing with anxiety, I smiled and said, “Congratulations. She is your destined match. Take the viewers' advice from earlier and hurry up and register your marriage!”
11
[No way. That could actually be a destined match? I don't believe it, I don't believe it—unless the woman has some hidden illness or she's ugly!]
[Exactly! How could a college student with nothing wrong with her fall for him? The man can’t even support himself!]
The viewers’ comments only made Mặc Mặc Vô Văn feel even less confident. “With circumstances like mine, how could I marry her? She’s young and doesn’t know any better. I can’t ruin her life. Maybe I’ll move into a motel for a while tomorrow!”
I shook my head. “Moving into a motel won’t help. She’ll come straight to your workplace and wait for you!”
Mặc Mặc Vô Văn looked dejected. “Then what am I supposed to do? Find another job?”
I shook my head again. “The two of you are bound together by fate across three lifetimes. That girl has loved you for a very long time. You’re destined to become husband and wife—no one can change that!”
As the man stared at me in shock, I declared with conviction, “When you were little, you rescued a stray dog covered in sores. You brought it home, cared for it, fed it, gave it water and medicine. You even spent the money you’d saved over years to pay for its treatment.”
“After it got better, it stayed by your side every day, watching you read and go to school. No one could have a deeper bond than the two of you.”
“A dog seller poisoned it to death. You cried for a long time, and after that you never kept another dog. Isn’t that right?”
The man nodded blankly. “Yes, yes… It’s just…”
I waved a hand and continued, “No ‘it’s just.’ You didn’t mind that she was old, ugly, and covered in sores, so of course she won’t mind you either… Now go give her a big, loving hug. She’s been waiting for you for twenty years!”
“You two can go register your marriage now!”
As soon as I finished speaking, a young woman with long brown hair rushed into view on camera and threw her arms around Mặc Mặc Vô Văn.
Mặc Mặc Vô Văn turned around. After a moment of surprise, he slowly put his arms around her, too.
I smiled and discreetly ended the connection.
It was wonderful to see the couple finally get married.
The comments exploded.
[Does Your Highness mean the stray dog was reincarnated as a girl and came back to repay her uncle for his kindness?!]
[Oh my God! What a beautiful love story. Good people really do get rewarded!]
As I looked at the screen full of well-wishes, I was arranging my thoughts and coming up with a closing line when—
“Queen of Ghosts! You keep ruining my work. What is your problem? You’d better give me a proper explanation today!”
An elderly voice shouted. The phone screen went black, and the livestream cut off automatically.
12
I turned around and saw a white-haired man with a childlike face, one hand holding a red matchmaking thread and the other a book of fated relationships, glaring furiously at me through a swirling cloud of smoke.
So it was Nguyệt Lão.
I clasped my hands and bowed to him. “Lord Nguyệt Lão, what brings you here?”
Nguyệt Lão’s hair and beard stood on end. “And you have the nerve to ask! Tell me, why did you cut the romantic ties I arranged? If you don’t give me an explanation today, I’ll… I’m not going anywhere!”
I guessed he wanted to make a scene, but when he saw the little demons beside me baring their claws and teeth, he swallowed the rest of his threat.
I shrugged. “You call that matchmaking? A lot of those matches were completely wrong for each other!”
I ticked them off for him. “Some men trick their wives into taking out loans to pay gambling debts. Some murder their wives for the insurance money. Some deceive their girlfriends and sell them overseas. Some leave their family lines with no heirs. And some even sleep with their best friend’s wife…”
Nguyệt Lão angrily scolded me. “What does that have to do with you? Life is hard. People are born to suffer! How can everything be peaceful and smooth?”
“Queen of Ghosts, mind the affairs of the Underworld. Stop meddling in my matchmaking just because you have nothing better to do.”
He spoke with such force and conviction that I got angry, too. I grabbed his beard and shouted, “What do you mean it’s none of my business? You tie people together recklessly and irresponsibly. Do you know how many innocent souls die horribly for love every year? Haunted by revenge, they commit crimes that leave blood debts piled high, and then our spirit constables have to clean up the mess! There are so many evil ghosts that the Underworld doesn’t have enough cells for them! Who’s going to pay for all that? My husband is even being punished by the Heavenly Emperor for failing to keep proper watch! I haven’t seen my husband in two months! You’re paying for all of it! Every last bit!”
The angrier I got, the more I said. I tossed Nguyệt Lão over my shoulder and started slamming him against the wall. “You think you can walk all over me?!”
The little ones nearby eagerly clamored to join in. “Your Highness, throw him to us! It’ll be so much fun if we take turns!”
“No, no, no! I’ll make it up to you! I’ll pay!” Nguyệt Lão screamed in fear.
I tossed Nguyệt Lão toward the nearest Huyết Khôi. “How are you going to make it up to me? Put it in writing! If you try any tricks, don’t blame me for what happens!”
As soon as Nguyệt Lão looked up, he found himself face-to-face with Huyết Khôi’s lidless eyes, which were inching closer. He nearly couldn’t look up at all!
Before long, all the little demons had gathered around him.
The long-tongued ghost stuck out his tongue to taunt Nguyệt Lão. Tiểu Quế Tử tickled the soles of his feet, the nine-headed serpent hissed all nine of its heads over his letter, and the big-headed ghost pulled out his fifty-kilogram head and tried to hit Nguyệt Lão with it…
Nguyệt Lão begged for mercy. “I’ll write it! I’ll write it right now!”