Her little sister drowned.
Every year, several children drowned while swimming in that reservoir. Their families were devastated, while outsiders merely sighed and warned their own children to be more careful. In truth, they soon forgot about it.
When her parents heard the news, they rushed to the county hospital by car. They were in such a hurry that they got into an accident.
Her father died at the scene. Her stepmother spent three days in the hospital, but she didn't make it.
And so Ngô Lam became an orphan.
After taking care of all the funeral arrangements by herself, Ngô Lam looked at the three memorial portraits late that night and said silently to herself:
“I’m a murderer.”
…
Ngô Lam took all the money in the house.
It wasn't much, but it was enough for her to go to college.
And so Ngô Lam kept getting the best grades. After finishing high school, she went to college.
College was the first time she had ever left home.
All her roommates came from big cities, and she couldn't understand anything they said.
Nobody liked her, so she had no choice but to keep to herself.
Fortunately, she was used to it. She'd never been loved as a child, so she could manage living this way.
The relationships in the dorm weren't very good, really. Everyone acted friendly to one another's faces, then talked behind one another's backs.
Only that fool Nguyễn Nguyễn thought everyone in the dorm got along.
She was Ngô Lam's complete opposite: outgoing, kindhearted, timid, and so simple-minded it was practically fatal. She put on pretty makeup every day and grinned from ear to ear.
Whenever she saw a cockroach, Nguyễn Nguyễn would shriek and run to hide behind her.
…That sight reminded Ngô Lam of her little sister.
Ngô Lam had no choice but to kill the cockroach for Nguyễn Nguyễn.
Such a tiny thing was enough to make Nguyễn Nguyễn admire her immensely.
She heard Nguyễn Nguyễn passionately defend her to Mạnh Lệ Nhi and Tần Tiếu: “Lam is a really good person. Don't be so prejudiced against her.”
What a fool.
Ngô Lam shook her head, feeling both a pang of sadness and a touch of warmth.
That feeling took hold of her, making it impossible to ignore Nguyễn Nguyễn sobbing alone.
She asked Nguyễn Nguyễn, “What's wrong?”
With snot streaming down her face, Nguyễn Nguyễn tearfully recounted in detail how the student council president had tricked her out of her money and taken advantage of her.
How boring.
There really was no shortage of foolish women in this world.
Ngô Lam didn't want to get involved.
But for some reason, when she saw the student council president walking alone down an alley...
She felt as if she were possessed and walked over to him.
…
Getting the money back was actually easy.
Ordinary college guys like him, no matter how impressive they seemed, were really just empty shells.
Ngô Lam was different. She was someone who had truly carried three lives on her shoulders.
Ngô Lam tossed the money she'd gotten back to Nguyễn Nguyễn.
Nguyễn Nguyễn was surprised. Her first reaction was to try to give the money to Ngô Lam.
…How could anyone be so stupid?
Ngô Lam was at a loss. When she refused, Nguyễn Nguyễn dragged her to a shop.
Using the money they'd gotten back, Nguyễn Nguyễn bought Ngô Lam an outfit.
A white dress and white shoes. Ngô Lam took one look at the price and was so horrified she wanted to toss them aside.
They cost a fortune.
She tried to stop Nguyễn Nguyễn from paying, but Nguyễn Nguyễn kept trying to pry her hands away.
“Lam, you have no idea how beautiful you look in this. I declare you the Liu Yifei of A University!”
“Besides, your birthday's coming up. This is my birthday present to you!”
…
Before then, Ngô Lam had never thought she was beautiful.
Her parents only ever called her a good-for-nothing spendthrift.
She'd never had a birthday party, either.
This was the first birthday present she'd ever received in her life.
…
But human suffering is endless; a little light doesn't make things better.
For instance, the first time in who knew how many visits that she'd gone to beg her academic advisor for an internship certificate, he gave her a lecherous smile.
He pointed to his lap. “Want to graduate? Then sit here.”
Also, Nguyễn Nguyễn's birthday was coming up, and Ngô Lam wanted to get her a birthday present, too.
She had no money, so she got a part-time job at a bar. There, she ran into the student council president again.
He was drunk. For the first time, he wasn't afraid of her, and after her shift he cornered her in a deserted alley.
“You're disgusting, Ngô Lam. You're a top student on the outside, but you take a part-time job here behind everyone's back.”
“What do you think Nguyễn Nguyễn would say if she found out? Her best friend is a bar hostess!”
The man staggered toward Ngô Lam, dead drunk.
“Oh my God, why do you look so awful?”
Suddenly, he burst out laughing.
“I get it—you like Nguyễn Nguyễn, don't you?”
“That's so disgusting, so disgusting. I'm going to go tell her about this disgusting thing right now…”
Crash.
By the time Ngô Lam came to her senses, the bottle in her hand had already shattered against the back of the student council president's head.
The man fell like a torn sack.
Ngô Lam stood dazed, thinking:
That's the fourth life I've taken on my shoulders.
…
The security camera in that alley had been broken for ages.
Ngô Lam disposed of the student council president's body.
As a medical student, she had certain advantages when it came to this.
The only problem was that Mạnh Lệ Nhi had seen the bloodstained protective suit before she disposed of it.
So what if she saw? Ngô Lam thought.
She knew she'd be found out sooner or later.
For now, she just had to do what she wanted.
…
Ngô Lam texted her academic advisor and arranged to meet him by the river.
By the time the advisor came hurrying over, beaming with delight, Ngô Lam was ready to turn him into a corpse floating in the river.
Mm. The fifth life.
On her way back to campus, Ngô Lam saw police cars.
The police were making inquiries all over campus. They were investigating the student council president's case.
Back at the dorm, Nguyễn Nguyễn came running over and handed Ngô Lam a heavy bag.
“Lam, take this and go. Quickly.”
The bag was very heavy. Nguyễn Nguyễn had withdrawn every bit of cash she could get her hands on.
Ngô Lam was a little surprised.
“What do you know?”
Nguyễn Nguyễn shook her head, her eyes red-rimmed. “I don't know anything. Lam, hurry and go.”
…
Actually, Ngô Lam had already thought about leaving.
That night, she lay in bed, lost in thought.
The police would investigate her. They’d ask about her motive, and sooner or later, they’d uncover what had happened to Nguyễn Nguyễn.
Those wounds, now scabbed over, would be reopened, and the photographs of Nguyễn Nguyễn would once again be brought out as evidence in the case.
Ngô Lam didn’t want that.
She had promised to protect her.
Besides, where could she go? Even if she fled to the ends of the earth, she’d still be found.
So, in the early hours of that morning, Ngô Lam quietly slipped out.
She woke Nguyễn Nguyễn.
Still groggy, she asked, “Lam, what is it?”
Ngô Lam said softly, “It’s nothing. Go back to sleep.”
This was her final goodbye.
Ngô Lam went to the rooftop.
Let everything end here.
So that day, Ngô Lam wore the white dress Nguyễn Nguyễn had given her, and fell like a white bird with a broken wing.
16
Many years later, Nguyễn Nguyễn graduated.
In the laboratory where Ngô Lam had once worked, she found a notebook.
It was Ngô Lam’s diary.
X Month X, Year X
“Today I went out for steak with Nguyễn Nguyễn. I didn’t know how to use a knife and fork, and the waiter laughed at me. Nguyễn Nguyễn is such a gentle person. It was the first time I’d seen her scowl and scold a waiter. Then she cut my steak for me.”
X Month X, Year X
“The school is having a party. I don’t want to go. I don’t know how to do makeup.”
“Nguyễn Nguyễn lent me one of her dresses and did my makeup for me.”
“A few guys asked for my WeChat that day. I can’t really remember.”
“I only remember that Nguyễn Nguyễn looked beautiful.”
“She said she was going for an innocent feral-cat look. I didn’t understand.”
“But then she asked me if she looked pretty.”
“I nodded vigorously right away. ‘Beautiful!’”
“That day, Nguyễn Nguyễn got drunk and dragged me out to a quiet street to sing.”
“In the distance were neon lights and skyscrapers.”
“It was the first time I’d ever thought this city was so beautiful.”
X Month X, Year X
“Nguyễn Nguyễn has a boyfriend now.”
“I feel a little lonely.”
“But when I got back to the dorm, I heard her arguing with her boyfriend.”
“What gives you the right to badmouth Lam?”
He said, “Nguyễn Nguyễn, trust my instincts. Ngô Lam really isn’t a good person.”
Nguyễn Nguyễn said, “Who asked you to tell me what kind of person she is? Don’t you have eyes, ears, or a brain of your own?! We’re breaking up. Don’t let me see you again!”
… Nguyễn Nguyễn was such an idiot.
“Such an idiot, I don’t know what to do with her.”
X Month X, Year X
“Nguyễn Nguyễn said we’d be friends forever.”
“Could that really happen?”
“I’m rotten, dark, and filthy.”
“And she’s pure, beautiful, and kind.”
“Could we really be friends forever?”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“I’ll take you seriously.”
X Month X, Year X
As soon as I finished speaking, Tiểu Nhiên posted another comment.
“I said I hoped I’d get the chance to take Nguyễn Nguyễn back to my hometown.”
“It’s very poor there, but you can see stars the city can’t.”
“The stars are bright and beautiful. When people are trapped in darkness and despair, seeing the stars makes them feel that maybe things aren’t so bad after all.”
“Nguyễn Nguyễn didn’t understand my metaphor. She said casually, ‘What kind of dream is that? We can go anytime during the holidays.’”
…
17
That summer, Hứa Tiểu Nhiên and Quý Triệu ran into Nguyễn Nguyễn again.
She was traveling in the mountains with a group of friends when she came across the two of them working.
Nguyễn Nguyễn warmly invited them to have a beer. She was just as cheerful as before.
She didn’t bring up the past, so Hứa Tiểu Nhiên and Quý Triệu didn’t either.
The sky was clear that day. They sat on the mountain, gazing up at the vast night sky.
The sky was filled with countless bright stars.
Nguyễn Nguyễn looked up, starlight falling across her face.
She murmured, “The stars are so bright.”
Suddenly, she began to cry.
The End