09
A few more months passed. The emperor died, and Crown Prince Morgan Carter ascended the throne.
Morgan Carter had few consorts in his imperial harem. On the occasion of the spring banquet, he summoned the ministers and their families to the palace for a feast.
When Tô Mộ Lan heard the news, she was beside herself with joy. She dressed up like a peacock displaying its tail, and was only missing the part where she flaunted herself the moment she met Morgan Carter.
She spent a fortune hiring the best nursemaid in the capital to do her makeup. I had to admit, in her gorgeous outfit, her features looked all the more noble and radiant. She truly was much prettier than usual.
But according to Riley Brooks, who was always by Morgan Carter’s side, His Majesty had no interest in women. I wondered if that was really true. If it was, then all of Tô Mộ Lan’s efforts would have been for nothing.
Father certainly wouldn’t take a lowly concubine-born daughter like me to this spring banquet. Once they left the residence, it became much quieter.
I told my personal maid to brew a pot of tea, then spent the whole day savoring pastries and reading storybooks beneath the hibiscus tree.
By the time dusk fell, Tô Mộ Lan had just returned to the residence when a servant came to my courtyard and summoned me to the front hall to receive an imperial decree. It didn’t take much guessing to figure that Tô Mộ Lan had gotten what she wanted.
As soon as I stepped into the courtyard, Tô Mộ Lan adjusted the gold hairpin in her hair and shot me a scornful glance. Her voice brimmed with glee and smugness. “Alex Hill, how about I get you a position as a palace matron ten years from now?”
She really was petty.
This time, I truly couldn’t talk back to her. After all, I was the one being slapped in the face now.
For some reason, I raised my hand and signaled the number “six” to her, then said, “You’re so ‘six.’”* {*Meaning: awesome.}
Tô Mộ Lan looked at me strangely. “Alex Hill, is there something wrong with your head?”
I nodded. “That’s right. My head’s been broken for a year.”
Usually, when I mocked her, I really did mean it. But this time, I genuinely thought she was so “six.” Tô Mộ Lan rolled her eyes and stopped paying attention to me.
Before long, a eunuch arrived to announce the imperial decree.
I knelt behind Tô Mộ Lan and silently yawned as I listened to the eunuch read a long string of empty platitudes. Thank goodness his voice was shrill; otherwise, I would’ve fallen asleep.
“...Alex Johnson’s daughter, Alex Hill, is possessed of both talent and beauty, virtuous and honorable, dignified in bearing, and unfailingly prudent, making her fit to serve at the sovereign’s side. She is hereby named Consort Jin and shall enter the palace on an auspicious day. So decreed. Give thanks.”
Tô Mộ Lan, kneeling in front of me, suddenly went limp and crumpled to the ground as if she had no bones. At the sound of my name, my drowsiness vanished.
“Why... why me?” I asked, my lips trembling.
My father stood frozen in place. The eunuch had to prompt him several times before he finally accepted the decree with a trembling hand. My thoughts were a tangled mess.
“Why me? Could the emperor be blind and have mistaken me for Tô Mộ Lan? That’s it. That must be it.”
Back at the Eastern Palace, he’d once forgotten who I was. Not to sound conceited, but I was a rare beauty, too. Plenty of young gentlemen had written poems praising me after seeing me just once.
I’d also heard Morgan Carter say there were plenty of women who looked like me. It all pointed to one possibility: he saw everyone the same way.
“How dare you!” The eunuch delivering the decree overheard my muttering and raised his voice in warning. “His Majesty is wise and discerning. How could he make such a mistake? Second Miss Carter, mind your words! In any case, His Majesty took note of several other young ladies at today’s banquet. I still have other households to visit with decrees.”
I sighed. Morgan Carter really was blind. I hadn’t even attended the spring banquet today.
10
Tô Mộ Lan pulled herself together and abruptly turned to look at me. Her eyes were bloodshot, flashing with malice. “Alex Hill, feeling pretty pleased with yourself, are you?”
What did I have to feel pleased about? I was utterly panicked.
Before, Riley Johnson had spared my life because of this face of mine, but Morgan Carter wouldn’t. He saw everyone the same way, and I—someone who was always asking for trouble—would be dead without this face to fall back on.
“Hmph.” Tô Mộ Lan let out a cold laugh. “Let’s see how that mouth of yours gets you made Consort Jin.”
“I can’t do it.” I was on the verge of tears. At the thought of what awaited me after I entered the palace, my hands and feet turned ice-cold. I took a deep breath and said, “Have you read that popular storybook going around lately? It’s about a wicked older sister who locks her younger sister in a woodshed, then takes her place and marries the man she loves…”
“Alex Hill! Are you insulting me?” Tô Mộ Lan glared at me.
“I’m not.” I wiped the lingering tears from the corners of my eyes and said, “How about I start treating you better from now on? Then you can help gather my bones when I’m dead.”
11
In the end, Tô Mộ Lan didn’t have the nerve to take my place. After all, aside from Morgan Carter, everyone else could easily tell us apart.
I’d only just married out of Prince Sheng’s residence, and now I was entering the palace. It was bound to set people talking.
My father didn’t want me entering the palace either. With a mouth like mine, I wouldn’t bring honor to the family; I might even get the whole Carter family executed.
He joined forces with the ministers who opposed my entering the palace and even invited a highly respected palace matron, Matron Tze, to examine me.
Matron Tze was a close attendant of the Empress Dowager, and her words carried considerable weight.
At first, with all the rumors flying around, I thought there might be a chance I could avoid entering the palace. But I never imagined that my father’s actions would be the very thing that pushed me to my death.
After Matron Tze confirmed that I was still pure, praise immediately rang through the court. “The Second Miss of the Carter family truly is courageous and resourceful.”
“Lord Carter has raised his daughter well. Before entering the palace, the Second Miss even thought to protect the royal family’s honor. Truly wise and admirable.”
As my father listened to their praise, his face turned from green to black.
As I was leaving the residence, he gave me a heartfelt warning. “I don’t expect you to do anything for me after you enter the palace. I only ask that you remember this: never bring trouble down on the family.”
I smiled faintly. “Why would I? I bear the Carter name. You just focus on advancing your career at court, and pray for your own good fortune.”
A clear tear slipped from the corner of my father’s eye. It was shed for himself.
12
After entering the palace, I became more and more certain that Morgan Carter was face-blind.
The words he said most often to the imperial consorts were, “My beloved consort, you look lovely in blue. You should wear it more often.”
Afterward, he would give that consort a heap of blue fabric. Over time, every woman in the imperial harem came to have her own signature color.
He recognized people by the colors of their clothes.
You want to know what color I wore? Of course I chose pale green or white, since the palace maids wore those colors.
That made it easy for me to blend into the crowd.
The other consorts saw me dressed so plainly and looked down on me. “She’s so beautiful and charming, yet she dresses like a palace maid. Is she trying to catch His Majesty’s attention?”
“But His Majesty doesn’t pay her any attention anyway.”
“You don’t understand. She’s playing hard to get. First she avoids His Majesty’s favor, then she’ll have him unable to take his eyes off her.”
What nonsense. I’m doing this to stay alive, got it?
I planned to live like a ghost in this imperial harem, quietly letting the days pass.
Besides, I was already receiving the stipend of a consort. I got afternoon snacks from the Imperial Kitchen every day, and I had storybooks to read. Life like this wasn’t so bad.
But who could have guessed that Morgan Carter would start playing this “rain and dew for all” game, too?
His reason for summoning me was simple: he’d noticed that my nameplate was covered in dust.
13
When I arrived, he was reviewing memorials. I stood beside him with a cup of tea, waiting on him. I’d been summoned before I’d eaten more than a few bites of lunch, and the red date cake on his desk made my mouth water.
“I’m starving. How much longer do I have to wait?” I blurted out without thinking.
Morgan Carter paused, brush in hand, then smiled. “Then I’ll give it to you.”
I set down the tea and took a bite of the red date cake.
Morgan Carter closed the memorial and turned to me. “Go see if Consort Jin has arrived.”
I swallowed the cake in my mouth and stared at him, eyes wide. “Your Majesty, I am Consort Jin.”
His gaze lingered on my face for a moment.
“Do you think I’m a palace maid?” I couldn’t help asking again.
He frowned slightly. “Don’t wear such plain clothes from now on. Wear pink.”
Fine. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple were all taken, so when it was my turn, I got pink.
I could wear pink now, but was I supposed to go around the imperial harem dressed in girlish pink even when I was old?
“I don’t like pink, Your Majesty. It doesn’t suit my temperament.”
Morgan Carter hadn’t expected me to refuse. He was silent for a moment, then said, “We’ll decide later. Serve the meal.”
At the eunuch’s words, the eunuch beside him immediately ordered someone to prepare dinner.
By palace custom, I wasn’t allowed to sit and eat with him. I had to stand beside him and serve him food. I could eat only after he was nearly finished.
He looked down at the greens in his bowl and frowned. “Why is it all vegetables?”
I should have told him that eating plenty of vegetables was good for his health. But what came out instead was, “Because I like meat, and I didn’t save any for Your Majesty.”
I wanted to cry.
Morgan Carter chuckled. “You really are honest.”
“That’s not honesty. That’s protecting my food,” I retorted.
Just kill me already. I don’t want to do this anymore.
They say serving the king is like serving a tiger. And here I was, sticking my head right into its jaws.