01
When I married into the prince’s household, my father feared I’d drag the family down with me, so he disowned me.
From then on, I began my journey of trying to get myself killed.
The first time Riley Johnson met me, I could tell something was off about him. He stared at me for so long that I grew uncomfortable all over.
On our wedding night, he lifted my veil and kept staring.
I shyly raised my eyes and met his gaze. This was when I should have gently reminded him, “Your Highness, it’s time to retire for the night.”
But my lips merely twitched, and what came out was, “You lecher! What are you staring at?!”
…
The air instantly froze. Riley Johnson put a hand around my neck, intending to strangle me.
I hurriedly grabbed the hand around my throat and said, “I was married to you by the emperor’s decree. If you strangle me, you’ll be defying the imperial edict. How will you compete with the Crown Prince then?”
At that, Riley Johnson let go, swept his sleeve aside, turned, and walked out.
I breathed a sigh of relief and patted my chest, telling myself that my quick wits had saved my life.
02
I’d heard all about Prince Sheng and the Crown Prince’s struggle for the throne from my eldest sister, Tô Mộ Lan.
She was a gifted woman, skilled in music, chess, calligraphy, and painting. It was just a shame that her looks were plain—not even as pretty as a maid’s. So I, a concubine-born daughter with the face of a fox spirit, had been bullied by her ever since I was little.
She had secretly loved the Crown Prince for years, and in her eyes, Riley Johnson was nothing but a despicable, treacherous minister who deserved to die.
When I received the imperial decree arranging my marriage, she was the happiest of all.
“With that mouth of yours, you’ll end up dying a gruesome death at Prince Sheng’s hands sooner or later.”
I smiled. “Everyone in the empire knows the Crown Prince isn’t interested in you. If you want to enter the Eastern Palace, I’m afraid your only option is to wait ten more years and become a palace matron.”
“You...!” Tô Mộ Lan was so furious her eyes rolled back, and she nearly fainted.
Father’s hands trembled with anger. “Alex Hill, are you trying to anger your sister to death?”
I curled my lip in a faint smile. “If she dies, so be it. My wedding day can serve as a joyous occasion to ward off her bad luck.”
After that, Father disowned me.
I suddenly realized that my illness—the one that made me tell the truth—wasn’t so bad after all.
Everyone dies eventually. At least I wouldn’t die of pent-up resentment and having to hold my tongue.
03
Before I married into the prince’s household, the concubines there turned green with envy whenever they saw me.
After I married in, they looked at me like I was a joke. Prince Riley Johnson would come to see me, but he never spent the night in my courtyard. He’d just stand there and stare at me.
People asked how the prince treated me.
I covered my mouth, but the truth still slipped through my fingers. “He didn’t even touch my hand on our wedding night. I wonder if he’s impotent. But he just keeps staring at me like some lecherous old man, as if he’s never seen a woman before. Oh, right—the women in this household are all so common and vulgar. Maybe he’s never seen anyone as beautiful as me.”
From then on, the household’s concubines hated me so much they ground their teeth, wishing they could kill me with a look.
“For the secondary consort to openly discuss the prince like that... She must be close to death.”
Ridiculous. Riley Johnson wouldn’t even dare kill me. What made them think they could?
At the thought, I felt rather pleased with myself. I put my hands on my hips, looked at the concubines, and mocked them. “You’re ugly, but you sure have pretty dreams. Why don’t I give you my place as secondary consort?”
A cold laugh sounded behind me. I turned around and saw Riley Johnson’s terrifyingly cold face.
“Alex Hill, are you tired of living?” he said through gritted teeth.
All I wanted was to play dead, but I closed my eyes and opened them again—and still couldn’t pull it off.
“You heard all of that?” I couldn’t hold back my curiosity.
Riley Johnson gave a cold snort.
“I got it all right, didn’t I?” I kept digging my own grave.
Riley Johnson reached out and grabbed me by the throat. “It’s all because of that mouth of yours—you say everything out loud. If I touched you, wouldn’t it turn into a live show?”
Fair enough!
Tears spilled down my face, but inside I was laughing to myself. “Oh, Your Highness is feeling insecure. Looks like you really can’t perform.”
Murderous intent filled Riley Johnson’s eyes.
Boo-hoo-hoo…
This time, I was really going to die…
04
Afraid to die, I went to Riley Johnson’s study of my own accord to beg for my life.
My mind was full of terrified pleas: “Your Highness, you know I’m sick. You’re so generous and forgiving—please spare my poor life. I really know I was wrong. How about this? Whenever you see me from now on, just cover your ears.”
Riley Johnson set down the painting he was holding, came over to me, and said coldly, “If it weren’t for that face of yours, you’d have been dead long ago.”
“Right, right, right. I know I’m beautiful.” I blurted it out again before I could stop myself.
… Riley Johnson stared at me for a moment, then gave a cold laugh. “You’re so full of yourself. Get out.”
He didn’t kill me, so I breathed a sigh of relief. “I know myself pretty well.”
That day, the one thing I shouldn’t have done was glance at the painting on his desk.
It showed a young woman with willow-leaf brows, almond-shaped eyes, a peach-blossom face, a willowy figure, skin smooth as ice and snow, and a beauty as otherworldly as the bright moon.
She looked somewhat like me, but she wasn’t as beautiful. After all, I, Alex Hill, was the most beautiful woman in the capital.
One glance was all it took for me to realize that the woman in the painting was his one true love.
Riley Johnson married me but never touched me, and often stared at me. Could it be because I looked like her?
My gaze fell on the painting. Riley Johnson followed it, and his expression changed at once.
“You think you’re worthy of looking at Taylor Anderson’s portrait?”
My mouth started running out of control again. “You’re the one who opened the painting. I wasn’t trying to look at it. She’s not even as pretty as I am. When other people find a stand-in, they pick someone less attractive. Why did you choose someone who outshines her? Won’t that hurt your true love’s pride? You really are a shameless sixth prince, copying the fourth prince, too.”
I’d insulted his true love and struck a nerve. Riley Johnson’s eyes reddened with rage, his face contorting as he let out a cold laugh.
“Alex Hill, I’ll take your earlier suggestion and poison you into silence. That way, I can have a little peace.” He lifted my chin with a finger. “Once you’re mute, you’ll be able to serve me in bed.”
Tô Mộ Lan was right. He really was a sinister, twisted freak. I didn’t want this!
My legs trembled with fear, but my mouth kept going. “I make you this miserable, and you still won’t let me go—you even want me to serve you in bed? If your true love found out, she’d probably die of anger. All that trouble you went to saving the princess consort’s place for her would be for nothing.”
Riley Johnson’s gaze darkened. “Don’t worry. You’ll die before she does.”
Tears streamed down my face, but the corners of my mouth curled up. “Just kill me already. Who’d want to play this game with a freak like you?”
Riley Johnson ordered someone to prepare the drug that would make me mute. Meanwhile, I was locked in the room beside his study, waiting to be forced to drink it.
05
I hadn’t wanted to marry Riley Johnson in the first place.
He was sinister and unscrupulous, willing to do whatever it took. Besides, he’d only married me as a stand-in. Once his one true love returned, I was sure I wouldn’t live to see another day.
Because of my affliction, which made it impossible for me to hide the truth, I was always dancing on the edge of disaster, looking for a way to get myself killed. But honestly, I didn’t want to die.
A young page ran in from outside to announce that the Crown Prince had arrived. Riley Johnson set down his teacup and went out.
After turning it over in my mind, I decided it would be best to run away first.
If I could find someone from the Crown Prince’s household, there might still be a way for me to survive.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the window cracked open. Riley Johnson really was careless...
I climbed out the window.
I’d only made it a few steps after sneaking out when I ran into a man in black. I recognized everyone in the prince’s household, and he wasn’t one of them, so he could only be someone from the Crown Prince’s household.
Before I could think, the question was already out of my mouth. “Are you the Crown Prince?”
His pupils contracted. “How could I possibly be the Crown Prince?”
“Then can you take me to meet the Crown Prince? I have information about Prince Sheng for him.”
“What information?”
“Do you think I can tell you?” I shot back. But then I couldn’t stop myself from telling the truth. “I know who the woman in Prince Sheng’s heart is.”
I hurriedly covered my mouth. Oh no, oh no. If he asked me anything else, I’d blurt that out too. How was I supposed to bargain with anyone like this?
Thankfully, this gentleman in black didn’t ask anything else. He simply took me away. In the blink of an eye, I was at the Eastern Palace.
Later, I heard from the palace maids at the Eastern Palace that the man who’d taken me away was the Crown Prince’s close bodyguard, Riley Brooks, a man of unfathomable martial skill.
No wonder he could whisk me away in an instant.