1.
With a backpack slung over my shoulder, I walked down the mountain road alone in silence.
As the most educated disciple of Mao Shan, and the one with the best prospects in Mao Shan, I had no idea when I’d be able to return.
As soon as I heard that my master had died, I packed my things and left without daring to delay.
All I could do was look from a distance toward the main hall, where police officers were coming and going in a steady stream. It seemed completely out of place in a Daoist temple.
As I walked, I talked with my junior brother on the phone to find out more about what had happened to our master.
I didn’t understand. Why did I have to go down the mountain when our master died, while my junior brother wasn’t allowed to leave the sect’s mountain gate for the rest of his life?
What would happen if we didn’t obey our master’s wishes?
I didn’t know what had caused our master’s death, but I knew for certain it hadn’t been demons.
Demons could use magic arts. They could even manipulate objects and kill people with knives or swords.
But they would never shoot my master in the chest three times.
This was the work of a human being.
I told my junior brother he had to find the killer, and to send me a message on WeChat as soon as he learned anything. He was much more sentimental than I was. He was sobbing, and I wasn’t even sure he’d heard a word I said.
“Little Daoist! Where are you going?” A very pleasant voice called from behind me.
“Down the mountain. Want to come along, little beggar?”
The speaker was a little girl who lived behind our mountain. No one knew where she had come from. Our master said she’d been there since she was four or five, and she hadn’t left in all those years.
Her face showed her hesitation, so I stopped and didn’t press her.
“Is it… fun down the mountain?”
“Not really. It could even be dangerous.”
The little beggar pouted. “Grandpa Gui Xu said there are nothing but bad people down the mountain, and he wouldn’t let me go.”
The corner of my mouth lifted slightly. It seemed our master cared more about my junior brother after all.
“Where’s Grandpa Gui Xu? Why isn’t he making you train?”
“He’s dead.”
“Huh?”
The little girl’s eyes lit up. “If he’s gone, then I’ll go down the mountain with you.”
I froze for a moment, then turned and continued on my way, motioning for her to follow.
My master’s warm, gentle voice seemed to ring in my ears: “After I die, if Linh Nhi doesn’t want to go down the mountain, that will be Thanh Thủy’s good fortune. If she does, then that will be Thanh Vân’s fate… Neither of you must force her. Let Linh Nhi choose for herself.”
My name was Thanh Vân, my junior brother’s name was Thanh Thủy, and the little beggar was Linh Nhi.
I glanced at Linh Nhi out of the corner of my eye. Did my master mean this little brat was going to become my wife?
You’ve got to be kidding. I’m a Daoist priest. Can a Daoist priest get married?
“How did Grandpa Gui Xu die?”
“He was shot. Three times in the chest.”
“So it wasn’t demons?”
“What kind of place is Mao Shan? What demon could come here and kill someone?”
“Why don’t you look very sad?”
“I’ve been part of the Daoist tradition all my life. Maybe… I’ve come to terms with it.”
“Ugh. You really have no conscience!”
I quickened my pace. The mountain fog was thick, and the corners of my eyes were wet. I didn’t want Linh Nhi to think they were tears.
2.
I kind of regretted bringing this girl down the mountain.
She talked too much, chattering away nonstop, just like Tang Sanzang.
“Why do we have to walk down the mountain? Why can’t you fly me there?”
“I can’t fly.”
“On TV, Daoist priests are always flying around on swords.”
“What TV show did you watch that says Daoist priests can fly?”
“Chinese Paladin.”
“They’re not Daoist priests. They’re cultivators.”
Actually, the Daoist tradition isn’t as mysterious as people think. We can’t fly or manipulate objects. We’re just a little stronger than ordinary people.
All we know are a few ways to deal with demons. Sometimes I can’t even beat a martial arts instructor.
A lot of people are influenced by movies and think Daoist priests are amazing, with talismans flying everywhere, coin swords appearing at the snap of a finger, and even the ability to control wind, water, fire, and thunder.
It’s all fake. They’re just fooling you. If Daoist priests were really that powerful, what need would there be for special forces?
So, you have to believe in science.
“But it’s true that Daoist priests know how to catch ghosts, right?” Linh Nhi changed the subject again, starting another endless conversation.
“Yeah.”
“How do you catch them?”
“Put them in a garbage bag.”
“Can you be serious for once?” The girl was mad now. Ha ha.
“Fine, I’ll teach you. Catching ghosts is actually simple. You just have to destroy their magnetic fields.”
“D-destroy their magnetic fields? What does that mean?”
I smacked my lips. “See? I told you to study hard, but you wouldn’t listen. Now you don’t understand the technical terms, do you?”
“Electricity creates a magnetic field. The human body has bioelectricity, and nature has its own magnetic field too. What ordinary people call ghosts are actually magnetic fields.”
“Most ghosts have weak magnetic fields, so ordinary people can’t sense them. But some ghosts have strong magnetic fields for special reasons. People with strong brain waves are affected by those fields—that’s what we call ‘seeing a ghost.’”
“People with strong brain waves see ghosts a lot?” Linh Nhi sounded skeptical.
“Of course. Have you ever heard of an idiot who sees ghosts all the time?” I shot back.
“Sure. That happens in every movie.”
My face darkened. “You’ve got it backwards. It’s because the person is affected by a strong magnetic field that they become an idiot.”
“Okay.” The girl nodded as if she understood.
“So catching ghosts is really just about destroying their magnetic fields, which makes them disappear. There are lots of ways to destroy a magnetic field.”
“A black donkey hoof?” Linh Nhi interrupted.
“I told you, read more books and watch fewer movies. Black donkey hooves are supposed to treat jiangshi. But they don’t actually work, and neither do things like black dog blood. It’s all a scam. If you shoved a black donkey hoof into a jiangshi’s mouth, it’d crunch it up.”
“We usually use peach-wood swords, but the important thing isn’t the sword, it’s the peach wood—and not just any peach wood.”
“Those peach-wood swords you buy at tourist attractions, the ones they claim can ward off evil, are all fakes.
A real peach-wood sword has to be made from lightning-struck wood—that is, a tree that was struck by lightning, its outer bark charred while the heartwood remains intact, and then quenched by a heavy rainstorm.”
“Peach wood like that contains the power of thunder and is very effective at destroying magnetic fields. Only when it’s made into a sword is it truly a peach-wood sword. It’s made into a sword only becauseIt’s just for looks. You could use lightning-struck wood to make a rolling pin, and it’d work just as well.”
“But peach wood is getting harder and harder to find these days. Buildings all have lightning rods, so very few trees get struck by lightning. It has to be a peach tree, and it can’t be burned to charcoal—the heartwood has to remain intact. Those are pretty demanding conditions.”
“Let me explain why lightning strikes lightning rods…”
“I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to hear it. I’m so sleepy.” Linh Nhi let out a long yawn.
Ha! Can’t handle me, huh? If you keep talking, I’ll teach you advanced mathematics. I’ll go on about Taylor series until you fall asleep.
Then you’ll know what it means to believe in science.
3.
After coming down from the mountain, I got in touch with my senior brothers and sisters.
Now I had to support myself. No, that wasn’t all—I had to support that freeloader of a little girl, too. How could I get by without money?
How did Daoist priests make a living? Feng shui, ghost-catching, demon-hunting—I could do it all.
But you had to find the right clients. No, the right sponsors.
My senior brothers and sisters had all graduated from prestigious schools and knew plenty of people among the upper class. And making money from rich people was the easiest way for us to earn a living.
In this society, having someone put in a good word for you made everything easier, and our line of work was quite popular among the upper class, too.
When I arrived at Mr. Vương’s villa, I finally understood what luxury meant.
Mr. Vương worked in real estate and had no shortage of money; all he wanted was peace of mind. I looked over the house. The designer had clearly brought in a feng shui expert, and there was nothing wrong with it.
I made a few minor changes, and once I was done, I packed up my things.
“Young master, how much do I owe you?”
“Oh, I don’t charge a fee. There’s nothing wrong with your house, so you don’t really need me.” I waved and got ready to head to another client’s place.
“Young master, young master, please wait.”
Mr. Vương looked around to make sure no one else was there, then said, “To be honest, I know there’s nothing wrong with my house. A few feng shui masters have come by to make adjustments before, claiming all sorts of things were dangerous or were blocking my wealth. It was obvious they were scammers.”
“You look like a man with real ability, and you’re very upright. I’d like to ask you for a favor.”
Ah, I got it. The feng shui consultation was just an excuse; what he really wanted was something else.
“What is it? Go ahead.”
Mr. Vương rubbed his hands together. “I’m nearly forty, but I still don’t have any children. I don’t care whether it’s a boy or a girl—I just want one child to carry on the family line.”
I was a little exasperated. “Why are you asking me about that? You should ask a doctor.”
“I have. I’ve been to every hospital, but nothing worked. That’s why I thought I’d try asking an expert…”
I carefully examined Mr. Vương. A faint black mark lay between his brows and stretched downward. I opened his shirt.
He looked a little confused but didn’t stop me. The black mark ran from between his brows down his chest and to his lower abdomen. I started to undo Mr. Vương’s belt.
At that point, he really couldn’t take it anymore. “Young master, young master, don’t, don’t! I’m not that kind of person. I mean, I didn’t mean it that way. I’m a normal man. Don’t get the wrong idea.”
“Don’t move!” I barked.
I definitely wasn’t into that sort of thing, but even after I undid his belt, the black mark kept going downward. I didn’t need to look any farther to know where it led.
How strange. Usually, when someone was having problems or was about to run into bad luck, murky qi would gather at the space between their brows. But I’d never seen murky qi form a long, continuous line like this.
“Have you done anything bad in the past?”
Mr. Vương’s expression kept changing. “What bad things could I have done? I’m an honest businessman. I wouldn’t dare do anything immoral.”
He wasn’t telling the truth.
“I’ll give you a talisman. Put it in a necklace and wear it against your chest. Having a child shouldn’t be a problem, but this definitely won’t solve the root cause. You’ll have to deal with that yourself.”
“Thank you, young master. How much do I owe you?”
“If it doesn’t work, you don’t have to pay. Once your wife is pregnant, you can send me whatever you think is fair.”
Two months later, Mr. Vương transferred five hundred thousand to me, thanking me profusely. He insisted on treating me to a meal, saying he wanted to introduce me to an important client.