1.
My body still throbbed with pain. All four of my limbs had been cut off. Someone dumped a bucket of cold water over my head, forcing me to wake fully. All I could do was stare as I became a cripple.
I writhed in agony. Hứa Mộc, once my childhood sweetheart, stood looking at me with disgust, a long saber in his hand. Then he took a scrap of white cloth and wiped the blood from its blade.
“Filthy.”
I couldn’t believe this was the man I’d loved for more than ten years.
Hứa Mộc and I had been betrothed since childhood. During my ten years in the brothel, I’d used the money I earned selling myself to care for his mother. Yet when we met again after all those years, the first thing I heard was:
“You’re filthy, and you even dare use Oanh Nhi’s name to do such vile things. Death would be too good for you.”
I was consumed by hatred. I’d never enjoyed any of the benefits of the Tô family’s prosperity, yet when the family fell into decline, I had to suffer in Tô Nguyệt Oanh’s place.
Vile? I couldn’t help but laugh scornfully.
The Tô family had committed a grave crime. Tô Nguyệt Oanh, the daughter of a disgraced official, was treated worse than a dog in the brothel. So why, when they made me take her punishment back then, hadn’t anyone called that vile?
The icy river water gradually rose over my nose. I thought of Mother again—how she’d knelt before the general’s residence that day, crying out in anguish: “She only wants to live. She’s never harmed anyone. What did she do wrong…?”
2.
I felt someone dragging me away.
“She’s the eldest daughter of the Tô family, Tô Nguyệt Oanh.”
Those words rang in my ears again.
During my ten years in the brothel, I’d asked myself countless times what would have happened if I’d denied being Tô Nguyệt Oanh that day.
I struggled to open my eyes. Two soldiers hauled me up, and a heavy cangue was about to be fitted around my neck.
The scene was so familiar, as if I’d gone back to the day the Tô family was confiscated.
I spoke up at once, saying the words I’d been thinking over for ten years: “I’m not Tô Nguyệt Oanh.”
In my previous life, when my father took me away, he said he would definitely come rescue me. I only had to spend a few days in prison in Tô Nguyệt Oanh’s place; someone in the Tô family would take care of things, and I wouldn’t be punished.
I believed him then, but I waited ten whole years.
I looked at the two soldiers. “I’m not Tô Nguyệt Oanh. You’ve got the wrong person. How will you explain that to His Majesty?”
The two soldiers seemed hesitant.
My father stood beside me, his face cold. “Silence.”
I pointed at him at once. “You see? Even a servant dares to yell at me. How could I be the eldest daughter of the Tô family?”
The two soldiers released me, still suspicious.
I stood up and spotted a corner of a white skirt behind the crowd.
I gave a scornful laugh and yanked at the dress my father had put on me, revealing the coarse servant’s clothes of the Tô household underneath. “I’m just a garden maid of the Tô family.”
I even held out my hands. They were slender and fair, but nothing like the hands of a young lady raised with every care.
A few days earlier, a flower thorn had pricked my hand. “The eldest daughter of the Tô family has a wounded hand. How could she have gone without medicine?”
At that, the two soldiers slammed the main gate shut, trapping everyone inside. “We were ordered to arrest every member of the Tô family’s main branch. Anyone who dares switch one person for another will be beheaded.”
As they spoke, their gazes swept over my father.
My father’s face turned deathly pale. He glared at me with such malice that it seemed he wanted to pierce right through me.
In my previous life, as I was being taken away, I’d seen with my own eyes how my father used the chaos to get Tô Nguyệt Oanh safely out with the crowd. I waited in prison, only to receive an order sending me to the brothel.
I slipped into the crowd and stood behind Tô Nguyệt Oanh.
Though she’d changed into servant’s clothes, a little of her white skirt still showed. I wondered whose clothes my father had snatched in his panic.
Tô Nguyệt Oanh’s beautiful face was smeared with ash, and her hair was a mess. Standing among the servants, she was truly hard to pick out.
I quietly reached for her waist and pinched her hard.
“Ah!” Tô Nguyệt Oanh jumped.
Her voice rang out like a bird’s song. The two soldiers immediately turned toward her, each grabbing one of Tô Nguyệt Oanh’s arms.
I saw my father standing not far away, the veins bulging on his hands, his eyes full of anguish.
“I’m not Tô Nguyệt Oanh.” She sobbed, looking pitifully at the two soldiers.
To my surprise, the two soldiers showed no pity. They tore Tô Nguyệt Oanh’s sleeve, revealing the white dress beneath. “You’re a maid, yet you’re dressed so finely. Even palace-only Nguyệt Ảnh silk is on you.”
The soldier sneered. “Take her away.”
3.
As I was escorted to the main courtyard, I happened to hear the First Madam crying, “Oanh Nhi is a young lady! How can she be sent to prison?”
Those taken away were the Tô family patriarch and the adult men of its main branch. Because Tô Nguyệt Oanh often disguised herself as a boy to follow her elder brothers, she was the only woman among them to be arrested.
The second and third branches of the Tô family had gathered here in silence. Only the First Madam’s sobs could be heard.
As soon as I stepped through the door, a porcelain bowl whizzed past my ear.
“You wretched servant!” The First Madam leaned on her trusted maid with one hand and pointed at me with the other. “It’s your honor to die in your master’s place, and you dare betray your master?”
“Someone! Someone!” the First Madam shouted. “Beat her to death! Beat her to death!”
My father stood in the doorway, glaring at me viciously. “You’re disloyal and unfilial. You’re no better than an animal.”
I ignored them both and knelt. “I just heard the two soldiers say that His Majesty knows the First Master is implicated in the imperial examination fraud case.”
“What?” The Second Master sprang from his chair in shock.
The Third Master kept fingering his prayer beads, his face unreadable. “What should we do now?”
The Tô family had long since split into separate households. For now, His Majesty had confiscated only the main branch’s property, but if the examination fraud charges were proven, the entire Tô family would be lost.
In my previous life, the First Master had been in prison for only three days before confessing to everything: cheating in the imperial examinations, selling official posts and titles, slaughtering innocent civilians, and forcing respectable women into prostitution.
His Majesty was enraged. Every male in the Tô family over the age of seven was beheaded, and the women were sent to brothels. Even those who had married out were not spared, though most of them hanged themselves to preserve their virtue.
That was why I, under the name Tô Nguyệt Oanh, had to endure a life worse than a dog’s.
I gave a quiet, scornful laugh.
The First Madam wiped away her tears. “This girl has to be beaten to death today. What would happen if all the servants acted like her?”
“Look at the state we’re in!” the Second Master snapped. “The entire Tô family is under house arrest, and you still want to beat a servant to death? Are you trying to add to our crimes?”
“But…” The First Madam was about to say more when the steward hurried in.
“This is bad! They’re back again. It looks like they’re here for the Second and Third Masters.”
“It’s over…” The Second Master sank into a chair, dazed. “The Tô family is finished this time.”
Having lived through my previous life, I knew the soldiers would come back after leaving. His Majesty had never intended to spare them.
But I was waiting for an opportunity.
“If only there were someone in the family who could take charge.” I lowered my head and spoke.
Once the two of them were taken away, only the women would be left in the household. They wouldn’t even be able to find someone in the capital to ask for help.
“How could I not know…” The Second Master swept his sleeve aside. “But…”
The Second Master abruptly stopped, his gaze sweeping around before settling on me.
“Third Brother is a devout Buddhist and rarely appears in the capital. Few people know him.”
The Second Master lowered his voice. “We can find someone to take Third Brother’s place and leave him at home to arrange the plea for mercy. At least then we’ll still have some hope.”
“How can you even suggest that?” the Old Madam said in alarm.
“Mother!” The Second Master gritted his teeth. “Whether we do this or not, our family is unlikely to survive. If Third Brother finds someone to take his place, he can plead with His Majesty to spare the women, at least.”
“Otherwise, even the children in the household may not be spared.”
I knelt on the ground, my gaze flicking unconsciously to my father before I lowered my head again.
The Second Master was indeed drawn to me. His gaze followed, and he slapped his palm. “That’s right, Quan Thanh. You’re built like Third Brother, and you rarely go out. Why don’t you take his place?”
I lowered my head, barely managing not to laugh aloud.